It just keeps going.

rough grammar

every page: No/incorrect punctuation, same as always. Awkward phrasing. Still not fully removing JP punctuation from bubbles. Still not redrawing.

p.3 this is the age where young girls can hang out with other > ??? with other(s)?
p.4 yatta > "yay!"
p.10 if you treat brats such as her [...], she'll fall for it > they'll fall for it. also, should be "like her"
p.13 cause > 'cause. lack of punctuation makes this a different word entirely
p.15 I took so much effort > it took or I put so much effort into
p.16 un > pretty sure this is a transliteration of うん. "yeah"
p.20 my baby room door > baby room's door (should be cervix anyway)
p.21 why don't you move yourself > by yourself
p.22 face your ass > that's the opposite of "facing" as she's "facing" away. "stick your ass out towards me."
p.23 during times such as this > such as these
p.23 papa's dick feel > feels
p.24 more rough > rougher

Base +17, Kyuume +2, hobohobo +30, heh...narto +6, Jouven +8, cybeast93 +19, Rose Garden +10, dankestdungeon +22, Glovelove. +23, Nahkaparturi +6, hai m ies +6, Kacywang +6, cathodex2 -6, and 17 more...

FYI

001
OG: 大体さー / 若い女の子と遊べて英世しか渡さないとか舐めてるよねー
TL: "Hey" / "This is the age where young girls can hang out with other, you know"
ED: She's saying that by offering 1000 yen, the guy's underestimating what it'll cost to play around with a young girl like her

004
OG: あーもう本当うざい
TL: Seriously,
ED: "Ahh god he/this is so annoying"

005
OG: きららちゃん？今どこ？さっきも電話したんだぜ
TL: "Kirara-chan? Where are you right now"
ED: missed detail about his earlier call

006
OG: 変なことしてこないと思うから今日はおじさんとデート楽しんじゃおう
TL: "You better not touch me too, so let's ..."
ED: "I don't think you'll try anything weird, so let's ..."

OG: 催眠術って知ってる？常識改変って言ってもいいけどね…
TL: "... You can take it as a form of altering your senses"
ED: along the lines of "... You could say it's a change in common sense" i.e. a shift in practical judgment

009
OG: めっちゃ楽しかったねーだって犯人は男だと思ってたからさー
TL: "That was fun! I knew the villain was that guy"
ED: the movie was entertaining because they thought the villain was A guy (probably a gender twist in the film)

OG: あれは予想できなかったねー
TL: "Yeah I saw that coming too"
ED: they DIDN'T see it coming

OG: 長時間椅子に座っていたせいかなんか足ががくがくしちゃって
TL: "... my legs feel a bit numb"
ED: not "numb" but more like "shaky" or "wobbly". it's especially odd since you decided to TL it as "tired" in the next panel which makes more sense

016
OG: 今まで彼氏のオチンチンは何本おまんこで気持ちよくしてあげたの？
TL: "How many times has your boyfriend put his dick inside of you?"
ED: maybe a nitpick but it should be about giving/receiving pleasure rather than putting it in

022
OG: きらら…パパがイってないのに娘が先にいくなんて…
TL: Kirara, your papa haven't cum yet...
ED: missing detail about how she (the "daughter") came first, implying insolence

Last edited on 04 October 2022, 20:49.

Base +18, Kyuume +2, hobohobo +30, cybeast93 +19, Jouven +8, Rose Garden +10, dankestdungeon +22, Glovelove. +23, Nahkaparturi +6, hai m ies +6, Kacywang +6, Juan715 +6, Woody Pack +6, and 15 more...

Thank you, both of you. I know this is a thankless task that you two kindly do.

Base +9, Captian Katsura +7, Rose Garden +10, Larvaska +6, Kacywang +6, Amauri14 +6, Juan715 +6, MSTallgeese +11, Ultimax-Bonk +6

So much for an based oji-san

Base +25, PsychicDoom -6