Booooo, where's the trap yaoi?

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Nagi Ichi is back, one of the best Tomboy artist ever.

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I love this

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Poor grammar. Words, phrases and/or sentences with "" have one or more errors, or should be replaced with English phrases/sentences that fit the situation.
Only checked pages 2-30.

p2. normal to "milk" during puberty
p4. These have been really "tense" today
p4. "Even if I try squeezing, I just can't squeeze them all!"
p8. "These things..."
p10. "As... is..."
p12. "I couldn't help but let out my voice..." (Too literal.)
p13. "I heard it's hard when boys don't get what they put out." (Nonsensical sentence.)
p13. Don't hesitate to "indulge me." (Preposition is missing.)
p14. Let it "go" (Is he Elsa now?)
p21. My "tits" just keeps flowing
p21. "Tounging"
p22. "Pee your sperm"
p23. "I feel both sad and happy" (No grammatical mistake but the situation in which the sentence is used in is wrong. If you don't understand, answer this: Why is she sad and happy at the same time? Decipher the author's intent in this situation and translate according to correct situational context.)
p29. "You can always tell me"

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I'm only tagging around half of the total pages but so much of the dialogue is unnatural
how much DeepL did you use? you wrote "some translations aren't 1:1" and so many lines match up 1:1 with DeepL's (often inaccurate) output...
in other parts it seems like you didn't understand the MTL output and just twisted it into something that doesn't really make sense

002
OG: 遅い早いはあるけど
TL: "It can be slow or fast.."
ED: "It can happen early or later on"

OG: 思春期にお乳がでるのは普通のことです
TL: "But it's normal to milk during puberty"
ED: "But it's normal to produce breast milk during puberty"

004
OG: 今日も随分張ってるな…
TL: "These have been really tense today.."
ED: "They've swollen up quite a bit today huh..." did you just plug this line into DeepL?

OG: しかしサボると胸が張ってしんどいし…
TL: "But if I skip it, these get hard and tight.."
ED: "But when I skip it, my breasts get puffy..."

OG: しっかり揉みほぐしてるのに
TL: "Even if I try squeezing"
ED: "Even if I massage them thoroughly"

OG: 上手く搾りきれん！
TL: "I just can't squeeze them well!"
ED: "I just can't squeeze it all out!" squeezing them "well" in this context means wringing them out

005
OG: おまけに肩凝りも酷くなる一方だ
TL: "On top of all this, my shoulders are always getting stiff"
ED: she's saying her (already) stiff shoulders are getting even worse

006
OG: いえ、そんな！当然のことです！
TL: "No, no! Of course not!"
ED: seems like an MTL plug and play again. the gist is that a manager is supposed to do those things

OG: もしかして痛めたり…
TL: "Maybe it hurts..."
ED: the gist is like "Do they hurt, by any chance...?"

OG: いや、痛めるというか / 肩凝りっぽくてな…
TL: "N-no, I-I mean, it hurts" / "I-I've got stiff shoulders.."
ED: should be along the lines of "N-nah, it's not that they hurt" / "It's just that they're stiff..."

OG: 丁度いい
TL: "Oh right!"
ED: "This is perfect!" as in, the circumstances all align

OG: 我が部のマネージャーにマッサージを頼もう
TL: "I'll just ask our manager for a massage"
ED: this TL isn't "wrong" but you just totally ignore the fact that she's speaking directly to the club manager in this panel

OG: 随分凝ってますね…
TL: "That's a lot of work.."
ED: "They're really stiff aren't they..." did you just get confused by the MTL output and make up this line?

OG: まぁ色々とな…
TL: "Well, it is a lot.."
ED: something like "Well I've been through a lot..." or "Well there's been all kinds of stuff going on..." prob makes more sense, I think you got stuck here because of the way you TLed the first line in this panel

008
OG: こ、ういうのは / 段階を踏んでから
TL: "Th-these things.." / "Behind all that clothing.."
ED: he's actually saying these things need to be done one step at a time

009
OG: 想定外の刺激が．．．
TL: "Feels unexpected.."
ED: more specifically, the stimulation is unexpected

010
OG: そのまま♥
TL: "As is..♥"
ED: "Just like that...♥"

012
OG: 思わずはしたない声をあげてしまった…
TL: "I couldn't help but let out my voice..♥"
ED: "I couldn't help but let out a lewd moan...♥"

OG: へ、変な意味ではなく！
TL: "Eh! I don't mean it in a weird way!"
ED: the beginning is just a stutter

013
OG: 男子も出すものを出さないと辛いと聞いたぞ
TL: "I heard it's hard when boys don't get what they put out"
ED: "I heard it's tough when boys don't release what they need to let out"

OG: 今度は私がわがままを聞く番だ
TL: "Now it's my turn to be selfish"
ED: no, it's her turn to listen to his selfish desires

OG: 遠慮せずに甘えてくれ♥
TL: "Don't hesitate to indulge me ♥"
ED: she's telling him not to hesitate and indulge in her/be spoiled

015
OG: ふぁい…♥
TL: "Hooray for you...♥"
ED: this is just a muffled "okay"

016
OG: 男子の…綿貫の肉体への興味が高まっていった
TL: "My interest in Watanuki's body grew.."
ED: you tossed out the detail where she starts off by saying "boys' [bodies]" instead of "Watanuki's"

017
OG: 情けない声を出すな
TL: "Don't sound so miserable"
ED: "pathetic" fits better in this context. DeepL got this one right so I'm not sure why you changed it

018
OG: 乳ほぐし棒になってる…♥
TL: "It's a milky rod now..♥"
ED: you keep TLing 乳 to "milk" and ignoring context...the gist is that his cock has become a rod for breast relief ♥

020
OG: こらこらそんなにがっつくな♥
TL: "Hey, don't be so hungry..♥"
ED: "greedy" or "impatient" makes more sense

021
OG: いやらしい舌使いしながらおちんちんガッチガチにして…
TL: "he's so horny, tonguing me like this with a cock this hard.."
ED: along the lines of "Your cock is so hard while you use your tongue so lewdly..."

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C'mon man.

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There's gotta be a better means of correcting a gallery besides leaving a page length's worth of words in a comment section my guy. No offense, constructive criticism is always great to see... but holy fuck, chill.

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@Shades of Blue

Are you new to this side of the Internet? The requirement for tagging "poor grammar", "rough grammar" and "rough translation" must always be followed by proof.

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Another MTL? Not like this, not to Nagi Ichi man....

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This is depressing. The moment I see a hung shota, BAM. Poor grammar. Why can't these peeps realize "english" machine translations is a damn sin on the earth?

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>ESL
>MTL
This is why we can't have nice things...

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I understand people's annoyance at the lack of tagging, but, personally, I feel it wans't THAT bad.

Why I agree that the translation could have been better, yes, it wasn't anywhere NEAR some of the more heinous examples I have read; that said, regardless, I am grateful for a passable enough translation that I could finally understand the plot, and will happily wait for if a better one comes up.

Translation: 7/10 (Not the BEST but not the WORST, sufficent for story purposes)

Thank you for the translation either way.

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I know binders exist but I think this one is magic. How on earth does she breathe?

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Another work to add to the commission backlog for a redo. Got a pile of other stuff atm I'm having done so don't expect this to get a possible fix anytime soon.

Do send a message if possible if someone else wants to save this poor thing via PM on the forum though.

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@ Megaton: https://e-hentai.org/g/2214407/1fb8cdc13c/, https://e-hentai.org/g/1444666/8eba33a2d5/ got 3 english translations, https://e-hentai.org/g/2103957/6f838e9a44/ got 3 vers. if even good translations doesn't stop other from making their own translation, this is proof that 'poor translation' shouldn't prevent your obscure shit from not getting a better TL nor " add to the commission backlog" because those translator already plan to to begin with

@Moth:
lmao you like one made by it hypocryte https://e-hentai.org/g/957004/36c72bfdcc/
See, entitled eop will see color/colour and accuse the other of being esl because they don’t have knowledge that there are variety of English, not just the one they learn from their mother
You don't know know the difference of esl/native translation if no one admit it.

Last edited on 15 April 2023, 12:36.

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Anyone know of any stories with a similar premise?(A world where all women lactate constantly)

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