This his my first translation project and my fist upload here.
Looking for feedback!

This guy's work is really fucking hot, lots of futa on futa with many cumshots, top notch!

Base +6, derek58 +6, Thryms +6, FlandreAkabane +6, that_guy212 +6

I want to see a crossover with this and Futanarun's FutaRoMa. The legendary futanari exhibitionist versus the erection police.

Last edited on 02 December 2022, 09:19.

Base +11, voxxyn +10, Karism +8, Anonyslime +8, pipino +6, FlandreAkabane +6, massa +10

There are some places where having a proofreader would have helped, but this is actually quite good for a first try. If you still have the editing file, do you think you could upload a version without the sound effect edits?

Base +6, AzureTime +6

Somebody call in the SWAT team-- we have an active shooter scene at the beach!

Base +16, derek58 +6, Anonyslime +8, MrNice13 +6, FlandreAkabane +6, lady_Konata +8, Jago Smith +8, fbininja +6, synerpray +6

Yeah, this guy knows how to draw futa muscle girls well. Good stuff!

Base +6, Thryms +6, FlandreAkabane +6

Good attempt for your first translation but several points of feedback for you.

I know you're trying to get a hang of the onomatopoeia but there's no need to cover them up like that, especially if you aren't redrawing it in the first place. It's much more common to see people "subtitle" the SFX by having the translation under the raw text and in a smaller font.

The translation is about what I'd expect given your first attempt too. It's correct but the general impression I get from reading your script is that it's stiff and the characters don't have to seem any personality.
Try not to dismiss things like ね or elongated ねぇ because those add a lot of tone to the dialogue. Another thing is to not worry too much about sticking strictly to Japanese sentence structures. The two languages are not the same in terms of words being used and overall structure. One such example would be 膣 which does technically mean "vagina" but in this context it's better to just use "pussy".
The same applies to 勃起 which does mean erect but we generally use "hard" or "stiff" in English as opposed to saying "wow you're so erect".

On page 21, it says これ... マスクちゃんにも見せてあげないといけませんね which you have as "This... You also have to show it to that mask girl"
I know that it says これ meaning "this" but, it's generally better to translate in a way that it actually forms a proper sentence.
we... better show this dick off to mask-chan too♡ This matches more closely to the raws as it is implying that she wants mask-chan to join in on the fun.

I've said it before but please do not be afraid to explicitly mention what "it" is. To give an example, in Japanese you can simply say すき meaning to like and it would be perfectly valid. But in English, you have to help the reader along by mentioning what "it" is. You have the context of seeing what's on the page, the MTL doesn't. That's why it's important to not use MTL as a 1:1 guide because it will almost certainly get something wrong.

Typesetting wise it's a fairly good attempt there too but I've noticed that you're a bit inconsistent when it comes to centering text / narration boxes. What you should be paying attention to however, is when text is bolded in the raw. You need to match it in some way because bolding indicates emphasis on certain text. As for the hearts, I recommend you download a Japanese font and one that supports the ♡ symbol. It'll make it easier and look better. Alternatively there are some English fonts such as CC Victory Speech that support it as well.
It's not necessary to use a font with upper and lower case but just pay close attention to the font used in the raws. Is it rounded? curvy? thin? thick? that sort of thing. After you build up a font collection it mostly comes down to personal preference of what you think looks good.

My closing thoughts besides proofreading your work in its entirety is to compare it side by side with the raws. Does your translation convey the same tone and information as the raws? Can you shorten your wording so that it's clearer and less confusing to the reader? Does the dialogue flow from one to the other without sounding awkward? These are just some of the many questions you should keep in mind when proofreading your work.

Base +3, thowok +6, GeniusDuck +6, AzureTime +6, delborg +18, jmac4400 +6, BonjoHiggins +6

Wow, I wasn't expecting so much feedback, thank you very much!
Japanese is a highly contextual language, English is not. I thought I understood that pretty well, but in the end I was too scared to change sentences structures...
I will try my best for my next attempt!

Base +1, thowok +6, coolman135 +6, exia45 +6, delborg +18, jmac4400 +6

I don't care if you're a super cute futa girl, put that mask back on lady!

Base +6, MyOpinionIsRight +6

@uploader thank you for the translation. But don't wait until your next work. Work on this one to make it the best possible. The community will appreciate it.

Base +15, MyOpinionIsRight +6, adfnamor +6

The official English version (uncensored also) is already available on the 2d market:
https://2d-market.com/Comic/565-Working-at-the-Futanari-Beach-Police-2
The group Aoba Q Madou obviously has a talented English speaker who translates their works in an erudite and idiomatic fashion. @uploader u can refer to the official Eng version to hone ur translation virtuosity.

Btw, it would be extremely nice if anyone can upload the official Eng uncensored version here on E-hentai :d

Base +6