THESE ARE PURE MTLs AND THERE ARE ERRORS, SO PLEASE REFER TO THE COMMENTS IF YOU WANT A MORE ACCURATE TRANSLATION OR FEEDBACK

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You literally just ran this through Google Lens and put the results over the clean images. That's not an exaggeration, I literally did that to compare and it's the exact same results. I'm not a hardcore "MTL bad" person, I think MTLs can supplement the skills of someone who is still learning the language but understands the basics, like at least after taking a semester of classes or something, but I'm not convinced you even speak English much less Japanese. You didn't even try to clean up the dialogue a little to make it not look like an obvious MTL. This is just pathetic and I hope no one reserves a commission for something they can do for free by just right-clicking on Chrome and selecting "Search Image with Google Lens."

Base +6, JoeCoolSoe +6, fengchu +9, neo_skyline +23, IS IRIS +6, Thomask +6, DrunkenWeeb +20, tusc +5, Frostaka +6, Scorps283 +6, nekokyu14 -2, Generotic +8, Not Benedict +6

I'd love to reserve a translation from you.

rough translation

Page 1
Your TL: Recently I've met an important boyfriend
JP text: 最近大事な彼氏が出来たので
Author intent: Your line makes no sense. She met a random, indeterminate person that happens to be a boyfriend of some importance? 出来た in this context means to date. "I've started dating someone [lately/recently], and he's really important to me, so..."

Page 1
Your TL: Soxx-chan, since this will be the last trip to play with you, why not smile? Smile!
JP text:そOちゃんと遊べる最後の記念何だから笑って笑って！
Author intent: He's talking about how they're gonna tape this to commemorate their last fling, which is completely omitted from your translation.

Page 2
Your TL: No...
JP text: いやー
Author intent: This one is funny because it's so simple. いやー here means something along the lines of "Aww, man!" It's not a refusal or a pleading to stop/not do like 嫌 usually would be.

Page 2
Your TL: Ah... the condom... please put it on!
JP text: あ・・・のゴム・・・けは付けて・・・下さいね！
Author intent: I'm gonna assume whatever program you use doesn't understand breaks in dialogue. "Um... please use a condom at least!" The tone is completely opposite of yours. She's hesitant. She's pleading. She doesn't order him around.

Page 2
Your TL: it's alright, it's bad for you boyfriend
JP text: 大丈夫彼氏に悪いからね
Author intent: に悪い = I feel/I'd feel bad for, not "it's bad for". "Don't worry, I'll pull out. I'd feel bad for your boyfriend [if I creampied you.]" If you REALLY want to word it like that, you'd have to completely spell it out "Nah, don't worry. It'd be bad for your boyfriend if I knocked you up." , which doesn't sound nearly as good, nor what it really means. The way you worded it implies he's not wearing a condom because it would piss her bf off or something and that she would go along with it for that reason.

Page 2
Your TL: I'm gonna faint!
JP text: 逝く
Author intent: This is just a pun on 行く/イク, which means to cum. 逝 stands for dying out of context anyway, not fainting. Could also just be an auto-correct mistake lol

Page 3
Your TL: Your dick is so full and the best!
JP text: おちんこいっぱいで最高れしゅ～
Author intent: His cock is full? What? She's just talking about how stuffed her pussy is and how good that feels.

Page 3
Your TL: Your cock is throbbing
JP text: ご主人様のちんこぎもぢいいいいい
Author intent: ぎもぢいいいいい is slurred 気持ちいい. She's telling him his cock feels awesome, not that it's throbbing.

Page 4
Your TL: Da-dun
JP text: ドロオ
Author intent: Usually I don't care about SFX, but this means "drip" or "ooze" or even "sticky".

Page 4
Your TL: Dicked on I got down on my knees LOL
JP text: ちんこに土下座しました笑
Author intent: This is one singular line, not two separate ones. 土下座 = dogeza, a classic kneeling posture and common trope in hentai to show how someone "loses" to cock and submits to it. Basically "I got completely bent over/dominated by cock! LOL"

Page 4
Your TL: Ah! Don't cheat on me because I'm here!
JP text: あっ！ 私が居ないからって浮気しちゃダメだよ！
Author intent: You mean.... not there? "Oh, but don't even think about cheating on me because I'm not there! I absolutely hate cheaters!"

Page 4
Your TL: But... I.... they're more important than my boyfriend... So I was made to reconfirm my desires to be an onahole by my masters~
JP text: でもね・・・私・・・彼氏の君より・・・ご主人様にオナホとして使われたいって再確認させられました～
Author intent: Lots wrong with this. First, she's addressing her bf directly, not in 3rd person. Second, you compared the wrong things. "But, I... you know... reaffirmed [to myself] that I would much rather be used as a fuckhole by my masters than by you, [my boyfriend]!" Trying to stick to the Japanese passive form doesn't really work here, and also you need to consider dialogue breaks. They're not separate sentences.

Last edited on 06 December 2022, 23:34.

Base +18, Thomask +6, Rose Garden +10, rsx205 +20, DrunkenWeeb +20, tusc +5, Scorps283 +6, khrwanillwwat +6, Not Benedict +6, I_Want_It +7

Hi, we just read the comments and feedback. Yes, it was purely MTL with research and proofreading in mind but we got too confident with that and rolled with it.

Thanks for the feedback, we'll definitely try to get better and next time tag this as MTL (if possible) so we don't mislead people in the future. Good luck on your TLs for the both of you!

Base +1, Yossarian762 -7, RiveraDanyube +5, Generotic +8

@Sleepy_Lion
I'm happy to see you take this well, but you can't "get better" without actually learning Japanese. You MTLing and then trying to guess the correct meaning will never yield good results. The fact that you're still advertising commissions is also scummy as hell.

My advice: learn Japanese. It's really not as daunting as you may think with the absolutely insane amount of resources available nowadays.

Base +18, Yossarian762 +7, Not Benedict +6

as gyaru said
without any japanese knowledge, is more like a rewrite instead of proper translation
you don't need to completely understand the vocabulary and grammar, but at least you should be able to feel the nuance and read the situation of why someone say something
and your "edited" grammar is just as bad... are you also not native english speaker? maybe translate to your native language instead of english then

Base +6

Please translate the last page...m(_ _)m

https://e-hentai.org/g/1779020/e3bb5591e8/ (actually this one).

Yoroshiku onegai shimasu m(_ _)m

Base +2