RAW: https://e-hentai.org/s/15fda75643/2318458-11
English by shitforbrains23: https://e-hentai.org/g/2353329/939054b869/

I'm doing everything solo, so please let me know if you find any mistakes. I'll try to fix it asap.

For a second I thought you coloured the original "translation" but thank fuck you didn't.

You've got quite a few typos / errors

Page 4:
recommended me to join cheer squad > recommended me to join the cheer squad
we do lots of pervert things there > we do lots of perverted things there
cheer squat > cheer squad

Page 5:
That's why I always dressed like that > That's why I was always dressed like that
I've always like pervert things > I've always liked doing perverted things

Page 6:
Not an error but you should bold / italicise "usual outfit"

Page 8:
I'm a meat onahole that only think about cock > I'm a meat onahole that only thinks about cock

Page 9:
You get a boner after hearing my story don't you? > you got a boner after hearing my story didn't you?
I'm getting horny too, > I'm getting really horny too
Pull out your dick, put it in my pussy > Pull out your dick and stick it into my pussy



Page 10:
Each time your dick sliding in an out > every time your dick slides in and out (You don't need a full stop/period after excited)
"And" typo is still there + didn't notice it before but
I knew sex is the best after all. > I knew it, sex is the best after all.

Page 12:
feel good? > Does it feel good?

Page 11:
squat. > squad

Page 13:
I could squeeze your dick in many different positions > I can squeeze your dick in whatever / any position (you want)

Page 16:
Done > There we go | She's changing back into her uniform so try to convey that


Judging by some of these errors, it looks like English isn't your native language so you should probably try find someone to proofread it for you or try extra hard yourself to make sure it's all proper English.
Other than that though, I'd recommend you find a font compatible with the ♡ symbol such as a Japanese font or an English font such as CC Victory Speech so that you can typeset those properly.

@cutegyaru
They did redo the translation since it's actually readable this time. I can't comment on the accuracy but it at least doesn't seem to be completely made up like that one was.

And on that topic, it'd be great if you removed the link to that "translation" considering it's complete garbage and is of no use to anyone.

Last edited on 18 December 2022, 16:41.

Base +3, cybeast93 +20, hereforpandaonly +6, Der Hunter +6, hm4ster +7

@Kyuume I'm not a native English speaker and can't find anyone to proofread this one, so I'm using this comment section instead. LOL

For the heart symbol, I just moved it from the raw, but I'll try your font suggestion.

Thank you for the input. I'll fix it now.
 
 

Base +5

@adamaria
Best to not bother coloring awful translations bordering on gibberish. I'll prob work on re-doing this eventually anyway.
Nvm, I assumed you colored the other "TL" (why even link it in the uploader comment lmao)

Last edited on 17 December 2022, 21:07.

Base +18, Deep in +5

@cutegyaru Eventually, you won't have the time to fix everything. So, why not take a back seat once in a while?
 
Don't worry, usually I try to avoid big-name artists, and I won't leave things unfinished just because of criticism like whoever took this title before.

Base +5, Riddik11 +7, Deep in +5, kanekivantas +7

Fantastic coloring. Hope you can do the other Parts as well

Base +19, ‗‗_ +6

@PhantomRenegade
Sure, just link me the sources.

Base +5