One of my first edited doujins. this one's about Tsukioka Kogane from Idolmaster Shiny Colors! I hope you like it!

I'm not gonna comment on the TL, but your editing, and especially your redrawing needs a lot of work.

1. Please add a white stroke to text that needs it. Check the JP. All the text has a white stroke, and this is to make it easier to read when it's slapped on transparent/non-white bubbles.
2. Redrawing colored works is probably the hardest thing you can attempt, but lazily applying CAF everywhere without actually redrawing just ruins the art and it's very obvious.
3. Periods and commas exist, and you need to use them.
4. Guides below.

General: https://quicksandscans.wordpress.com/resources/
Typesetting: https://web.archive.org/web/20190406011154/https://fallensyndicate.wordpress.com/typesetting-tutorial/
Redrawing: https://web.archive.org/web/20150421210157/http://www.redhawkscans.com/showthread.php?7057-Rain-s-Redraw-Tutorials

Last edited on 21 January 2023, 22:09.

Base +21, cybeast93 +21, funk_u_up +13, dankestdungeon +23

Raw can be found here: https://e-hentai.org/g/1688213/57383c951d/

Great to see new editors on the scene! As you practice more, you'll get better every time. But for a first time, it's actually quite decent. Don't get discouraged!

Base +54, Shank +56, cybeast93 +21, Seveutiel +7

It's really nice to finally see some more Kogane translations

Base +6, Seveutiel +7, MechWarriorNY +10

From what I can tell, there's other girls drawing attention (Sakuya, Madoka, Chiyuki, etc), so it's nice to see someone specifically going for Kogane stuff.

Base +8