004
OG: よっわ…
TL: "Wow...!"
ED: she's talking about how weak the opponent was

011
OG: いきなり拘束されたりオモチャ使われたリしたらびっくりするよね…
TL: "It would be a surprise if someone was restrained or had toys used on them..."
ED: she's saying it would be a surprise to anyone if ...

OG: なんともないけど
TL: "What is her deal..."
ED: after seeing the crest she's reassuring herself

013
OG: こんな奴まともに相手にしてらんない！
TL: "I have to take her seriously!"
ED: she's saying she doesn't want to deal with this kinda person

014
OG: びっくりした？
TL: "Amazing, right?"
ED: she's asking if she was surprised

015
OG: じゅわ
TL: "Oh my God"
ED: this is just wet sfx

021
OG: しつ…こい…
TL: "You are so...dirty"
ED: she's commenting on her persistence

028
OG: イッたてば
TL: "I want to cum"
ED: she's saying she just came

032
OG: 私 こんな体質でいつもぞんざいに扱われるから…
TL: "I'm always treated roughly because of my condition..."
ED: "condition" probably isn't the word you're looking for here

037
OG: なにをいきな…
TL: "What are you talking about"
ED: missing detail, abruptness of the request

038
OG: したくないのに…
TL: "I don't want to do this..."
ED: missing conjunction

039
OG: クリ好きなアナタにワームの幼体をあげる♥
TL: "I'll lend you this juvenile worm, it loves clits"
ED: she's not talking about the worm being the one that loves clits lol

OG: ひぎ…
TL: "I..."
ED: this is a grunt

043
OG: 付き合ってられるかっての
TL: "I don't have time for this"
ED: interesting (loose) way to TL this line considering how you/MTL did it the first time

044
OG: バリアの解除方法は絶対このボタンだよね…同時押し…かな？
TL: "I bet these buttons will remove the barrier"
ED: you completely cut out her considering pressing them at the same time

and rewritten moans/sfx as usual

Base +23, cutegyaru +22, hujijuice +6, as102 +13, Enki17 +10, 奢侈的彩凤 +6, sunshineandlolipops +24, Ein1 -6, tobeunforgiven2 +26