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[Aporon] Haramase Gwen-chan | Impregnated Gwen (Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse) [English]

[Aporon] 孕ませグウェンちゃん (スパイダーマン:アクロス・ザ・スパイダーバース) [英訳]

Doujinshi
Posted:2023-06-24 21:47
Parent:None
Visible:Yes
Language:English  TR
File Size:2.33 MiB
Length:8 pages
Favorited:341 times
Rating:
79
Average: 4.26

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Posted on 24 June 2023, 21:47 by:   fun_stuff_nsfw    PM
Uploader Comment
First time translation & upload. Would appreciate any constructive criticism and comments about how I could improve.
Posted on 24 June 2023, 22:56 by:   wafles    PM
Score +12
just to say, thx.
Posted on 25 June 2023, 00:48 by:   Kyuume    PM
Score +33
For starters, please don't use manga temple, it's ugly and outdated.
I personally use CC Victory Speech for my main dialogue and CC Samaritan Tall for narration boxes.

Secondly, you should be using punctuation like full stops / periods at the end of your dialogue. Another thing is text in thought bubbles should be italicised to indicate that it's not being said out loud.

As for your translation, without checking the raws to compare, it already sounds extremely literal and stilted. On page 1 you have "It's big" which makes no sense on its own and without the visual context.
In Japanese, you can simply say すき and it would be valid and make sense. However, in English, that is not the case and you have to specify what it is they like.

Here's some resources for you to look at: https://quicksandscans.wordpress.com/resources/
Posted on 28 June 2023, 16:41 by:   fun_stuff_nsfw    PM
Score +11
@Kyuume thank you for the feedback!

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