Raw: https://e-hentai.org/g/2489088/6bd37cb85d/

I guess removing the text was just too much effort. I'm shocked. I would never expect the greengrasstree brand to be anything less than stellar.

Page 2
Your TL: Easy for you to ask.
JP: 気楽なこと言ってるなあ
Intent: Ask?

Page 2
Your TL: So I just got a girlfriend... // but I can't invite her over...
JP: おかげで僕は出来立てのカノジョを部屋に招くこともできない
Intent: Actually, the justification (おかげで) is already in there. Not sure why you're keeping it vague as if he left the "why" out for the reader to figure out using visual cues.

Page 2
Your TL: And that's because...
JP: それどころか
Intent: Again, makes no sense to put that there when the justification is already complete in the previous 2 lines. Open a dictionary to see what それどころか actually means.

Page 3
Your TL: I got an apartment because of how cheap it was...
JP: 値段だけで決めた
Intent: This might be more an English issue than anything else, but it's still wrong. He didn't just get "an" apartment because "getting an apartment is cheap." He specifically got THAT apartment ONLY BECAUSE it was cheap.

Page 4
Your TL: She seems like an idiot.
JP: 本当にバカだと思う
Intent: He's baffled by her logic. He doesn't think she's actually an idiot. "This is so stupid/ridiculous."

Page 4
Your TL: Even though I said that...
JP: 僕が心配すると
Intent: The emphasis is put on how she treats his concerns specifically. Also, wrong tenses all around in that exchange. "And even though I show concern... // She just keeps on smiling like she always does."

Page 5
Your TL: Oh, and would you like a reward, kind boy?
JP: 優しいボクちゃん（・・・）筆下ろし
Intent: I know there's a question mark, but she's not actually asking him a question. Also, this misses how teasing she's being and 筆下ろし is mistranslated.

Page 5
Your TL: nil
JP: もっとフツーに愛し合うもので
Intent: missing

Page 8
Your TL: Just how good... girls really are.
JP: 女の子って・・・いいものなんだから
Intent: This also seems like an English issue, maybe? Your line implies capacity (good at/for something) or morality (girls are good people). The meaning here is actually how much fun they can be/how they can do nice (sexual) things to/for you.

Page 10
Your TL: it's like she's become another creature
JP: 何か別の生き物みたいに
Intent: He's referring to her tongue, not her as a person.

edit: I took a look at your changes, and you've somehow managed to be even MORE wrong. I mean, I could spoon feed you the correct translations for everything, but there's no learning value in that, now is there?

Honestly, read your changes just on page 1. It's even more nonsense now. He got a girlfriend... because his neighbor's a slut being loud? lmao Your first TL was closer to being correct on your first try, you just jumbled up the structure and skipped a few words. "Thanks to her being so damn loud, I can't even bring my new girlfriend over. // [Far from being able to,] in fact..."

Last edited on 14 September 2023, 00:23.

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Wha... How did you find me........

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