Here's another good one, with a good story

Damn, where was this childhood friend when I was growing up?

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Pages 23 and 24 are the same image.

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Some remarks/suggestions:
・On page 1, you accidently wrote "study for tomorrow's test tomorrow" instead of "study for tomorrow's test together".
・On page 2, the こんなもん on the top left (which you currently have translated as "That's it", interpreting it as a standalone utterance) is part of the same sentence as the following panel, so you should translate the two panels accordingly as together forming a complete sentence, with the start of the sentence in the prior panel, and the rest of the sentence in the latter panel. I think the translation you have in the latter panel works as a translation for the sentence, so you can just take that. and split it appropriately across the panels.
・On page 3, maybe it was a conscientious wording on your part, but I think "How cold" or "So harsh" is a better representation of 厳しいねぇ than "How sad".
・Also on page 3, 俺も頼んでみようかな is more like "Maybe I should try asking her too" rather than "I wish I could just ask her" (the former implies he's considering it; the latter implies he thinks it's a lost cause).
・On page 4, she wasn't being praised for getting shots in. She was being praised for catching (球をとる = to catch the ball). Also, "it was super easy" is perfectly fine, but maybe something idiomatic like "It was a piece of cake" or "It was no sweat" would sound better.
・On page 5, "because of the rumors" should be something akin to "like the rumors say" (噂通り). Also, the 別に in the box in the top left panel is part of the same sentence as the text in the last panel of the page, so same advice as my page 2 remark: translated both boxes together and put the first bit in the first box, and then the rest in the second box.
・On page 8, she doesn't say neither of them are in clubs; she says neither of them have club activities at the moment. (~部活やっとらへん is dialectal ~部活やってない)
・On page 10, she says he started acting cold, not that he wasn't honest (素っ気ない, not 素直じゃない)
・On page 11, the ど どうせ噂じゃねーだろ in the middle bottom panel is better translated as "A-Anyway, it's not (just) a rumor." rather than "O-Obviously, it's not a rumor." Also, maybe it was a conscientious wording on your part, but I think something like "I was just looking forward to our old promise a little, that's all..." is closer to 昔の約束ちょっと期待してんやけどな than saying he was "excited" about it.
・Also on page 11, I believe the これ in これでダメやったら...私も諦めるわ refers to the kiss & co she's about to do, rather than "this" meaning the situation, so I think it would have been better if the sentence were rephrased to something like "If this doesn't get through to you... (then) (even) I'll give up."
・On page 19, when she says "ヒロトイキそう!", she's saying that Hiroto looks like he's on the verge of cumming (something like "You look like you're gonna cum!" or "It's like you could cum any second now!"), not that she is cumming. It ties into both the prior line where she comments on his facial reactions, as well as the next line where she praises herself for her sexual effectiveness.
・On page 23, maybe it was a conscientious wording on your part, but for me, I think the こうやって of お前とこうやってセックスしたかったよ is better represented by "like this" than "here", since I don't think he is specifically talking about the location. I think he is responding to what she said on the top left of page 21.
・Also on page 23, albeit a matter of preference, I think "You were the only one I ever had my eye on!!" is better sounding than "You were the only person I was looking at".
・Page 23's bottom left should read something akin to "Being seen from outside is embarrassing..." (外見えるの恥ずかしいやん...ッ). The reason I even checked the raws at all for this gallery was because the translation you had for this line struck me as a bizarre thing for her to say.
・On page 25 (the 24th page if the duplicate is removed), she isn't calling him no-good. ダメダメあかんわ is more like "Noooo, you can't!".
・(General) ビッチ means more like "slut" than "bitch" (since I think people normally interpret calling someone a bitch as calling them an unpleasant or mean woman rather than calling them promiscuous...although it technically could mean that too).
・(General) Try to end all of your sentences with punctuation marks. There are a lot of sentences lacking periods. Also, there are a number of lines where you ought to have used multiple sentences, yet just separated them with commas (for example, on page 3, "It sounds so good" should end in a period, not a comma. Another example is on page 8 where you have "Why are we doing it at my house, are you an idiot..." when you should have "Why are we doing it at my house? Are you an idiot?".)

Last edited on 11 December 2023, 18:10.

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@Crystalium & @rkdx
Hello, I am Misa, the PR and TS for the doujin.
Thank you for all of your feedback, I will try to do better in the next one.

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"Don't get close to me, you bitch"
Damn. Can't say if Chad or Chud.

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It's not bad, but I wish the artist gave her breasts less exaggerated proportions. In my honest opinion, this is a bit too much.

Last edited on 12 December 2023, 20:35.

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The artstyle reminds me of Uo Denim's.

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@BaekYeong Hello. The suggestions offered by Crystalium is to fix this one, not future ones.

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Yeah, how about fixing this one to be nice and proper? Or just seeing 4.36 rating and close to 1000 favorites has you going "eh, good enough, time to do another scuffed translation, here's my patreon link btw :)"? Many cases of lazy people just not fixing uploads when very often, if not always, comment section has page by page, word by word corrections. Not even to mention a duplicate page.

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I really like the girl, but the guy is too much of a little asshole and the full mosaic censorship is a little too heavy.

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I can't believe she still fucked him, after he decided he believes everyone else and not her. That guy deserves a slap not a blowjob

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