RAW: https://e-hentai.org/g/2583312/068ef59e4e/

Since I'm trying to take the next step in studying Japanese in the new year, I decided to take a stab at translating this short omake doujin I bought while I was in Japan. The dialogue seemed simple and Midori-chan is one of my favorites (in more ways than one) so I definitely wanted to see what lovey-dovey things were being said.

I might try and translate more doujins going forward, but this isn't a professional translation by any means and my Japanese isn't at the level yet that I can actually entertain doing it as a side hustle and whatnot. The text was just added in Photoshop, some of the sound effects were educated guesses on my part, and the back page tripped me up a bit. The literal translation was "Work in moderation", but that didn't seem to make sense in context so I settled on an innuendo suggesting that Midori-chan is the "work" to go easy on. That was probably a reach on my part but I liked it given that Midori is presenting herself.

Any and all feedback is welcome. Enjoy!

(Fixed a translation error on Page 5)

Thank you for your work. I wish the image quality was a bit different but I do know this is an old scan from an old anime (which I loved) so you can't help that. The contrast is harsh but that's just nitpicking.

Base +6

Hey! I'm another translator, and since you asked for feedback, here's some stuff I noticed:

-You're surprisingly good at getting text in the center of the bubble, much better than most are on their first attempt. Great job!
-You used the smaller, resampled images in your translation instead of the original 2081x3032 images. You can download the original res files by torrent, or by clicking "Download original" underneath each image in a gallery.
-Using a standard manga font like Victory Speech or Wild Words will look much nicer than Comic Sans.
-Try to keep your font size consistent throughout the book. I know it's tempting to increase the size to match bigger bubbles, but it can be jarring to the reader. Using the JP text as a guide can be a good rule of thumb (but not always)
-Notice how the first and last pages have reflections of another page in it? And how the black and white colors in the book look more like shades of speckled grey? You can correct that in Photoshop by hitting Control+L on the background layer, "called leveling". It's used to make the pages colors actually black and white again.
-Always use punctuation in dialogue, even if the bubble ends in something unusual like a heart. It looks much more professional.
-Good SFX, you got them all right except for "Munya" on page 2, which is meant to represent her posture squishing her boobs together, so maybe "Squish" would have worked instead. Grope sort of implies someone else is grabbing her. No need for asterisks, though. Also it's good practice to clean the JP text off the SFX you translate. Find some fun fonts to give it some real pizazz!
-Your translation is very literal, which is common for people just starting out. "出る" should be translated as "cumming" rather than "bring it out". Her dialogue is very cheery and playful, so don't be afraid to stray from the literal meaning a bit to match the character's tone in your translation. If it sounds hot in Japanese, then it should sound hot in English too!
-You didn't make any huge errors in the translation in my opinion, but there were a couple small mistakes. One example, "いっぱい出してくださいね" is her telling him to "cum a whole lot" or something similar. Don't worry about that too much though, that'll come as your Japanese improves.

Sorry for the wall of text. Keep at it bro, can't wait to see what cool stuff you TL next!
You can click on my username if you wanna see my translations for some inspiration, or feel free to PM me on the forums if you ever have a question!

Last edited on 23 January 2024, 23:25.

Base +10