RAW : https://e-hentai.org/g/3024952/23a4bd072d/

title TL = 執筆中毒? Writing addict? Poisoning?

im tl-in it fast, blame the author using weird hyougen if something weird to read
*especially with that under the palm tree dialogue

good artist! please support!!

also i accept tl request for N2 study

Other langauges and versions:

Japanese (RAW, Digital): https://e-hentai.org/g/3024952/23a4bd072d/
Chinese (Translation, Digital): https://e-hentai.org/g/3027011/3262fb4f58/
Korean (Translation, Digital): https://e-hentai.org/g/3025826/cb12c7012f/

Base +45

i don't know what this is, but it isn't english.

Base +6, Darknessend +7, Crowe_Solheim +6, Orazio +7, MC Arisato +7, Cadavrus +6, hoigoigoi +32, BFBK +6, Psychotic Pastry +6, CookieDashE +6

bruh the first page alone already has some basic english mistakes, how can you write that and not realize it?

Base +6, topkeky02 +6, coleccionista903 +6, Darknessend +7, Crowe_Solheim +6, Cadavrus +6, Psychotic Pastry +6

Sigh...

Page 5 --
Punctuations. Broken English.

JP: トリニティ総合学園 古書館
O: Trinity General School Old Library
"Antiquarian Bookstore" You don't play BA do you?

JP: 私は古関ウイと申します トリニティ総合学園の図書委員会の委員長を勤めてます。
O: My name Kozeki Ui The head of the library committee at trinity general school old library.
What is this cave man speak. Uuug, Me Kozeki, Me library committee. Also where did you get old library from?
"My name is Kozeki Ui. I'm the head of the Library Committee for the Trinity General School."

JP: 主に古書館で書籍を管理したり。復元作業をしてます。
O: Usually organizing the books and doing book restoration at the library.
"I usually organize books and perform restorations at the Antiquarian Bookstore."

Page 6 --
Punctuations. Broken English.

JP: あ、ちなみに先生と付き合って３ヶ月がたちました。
O: Ah! BTW, it has been 3 months since I'm going out with sensei.
"Oh! By the way, it has been 3 months since I started dating Sensei."

JP: 隠せると思ってた私が愚かでした。
O: I was stupid to think that I can hide our relationship.
Never mentioned relationship directly. "I was a fool to think we could have hidden this from everyone."

JP: 付き合い始めてすぐ学園全域に噂が広まりました。
O: The rumors about use spread at whole school right after we start dating.
Broken English. "The rumor of us dating spread throughout the entire school right away."

JP: 実は最初から先生との関係が上手く行ったわけではないです。
O: Actually, that doesn't mean that having a relationship with sensei will go well at first.
"To be honest, me and Sensei relationship had a rocky start."

JP: お互い深く踏み入るのが怖くて躊躇するそういう関係。// そういうある日先生は私の水着姿を見て理性を失いました。
O: We're afraid of this kind of indecisive relationship if go deeper. // Just like that day, sensei saw me in a swimsuit and he lost control.
"We were hesitant, afraid of stepping too deeply into each other. // Until that one day when Sensei saw me in my swimsuit. He completely lost his mind/rationality/sense of reason."

JP: 私が止めても無視して先生は容赦なく腰を振り続けました。数分後のヤシの木の下では男女の喘ぎ声だけが響き渡りました。
O: I even tried to stop him, but he ignored it and he keeps swinging my hips harshly. After a few minutes, only our moans under the palm tree can be heard.
"I tried to stop Sensei, but he ignored me completely and kept trusting his hips into me. After a few minutes, all you could hear was the sound of a man and women moaning and grunting under the Palm tree."

Page 7 --
Punctuations. Broken English.

JP: あの事件から先生は私に謝ってくれました。むしろ私は先生のそういう行動が嬉しかったのでちょっときょどってしまいました。
O: Since that incident. sensei has apologized to me. I was happy yo see sensei behave like that, so I got nervous a bit.
"Since that incident, Sensei has apologized to me. I was actually happy about Sensei's actions, so I ended up feeling a bit flustered."

Base +7, flash11 +30, crimsonraes +19, Orazio +7, testy +8, Cadavrus +6, Mandraken +6, nomx123 +11, as102 +13, Scumbini +48, BFBK +6, Andy294855 +15, Psychotic Pastry +6, and 2 more...

Tagged rough tl based on comment above^

Base +28, flash11 +30, crimsonraes +19, Orazio +7, Cadavrus +6, nomx123 +11, Scumbini +48, Psychotic Pastry +6

Page 5 --
Punctuations. Broken English.

JP: トリニティ総合学園 古書館
O: Trinity General School Old Library
"Antiquarian Bookstore" You don't play BA do you?

古=old
書=book
館=room (im not playing BA lmao)

JP: 私は古関ウイと申します トリニティ総合学園の図書委員会の委員長を勤めてます。
O: My name Kozeki Ui The head of the library committee at trinity general school old library.
What is this cave man speak. Uuug, Me Kozeki, Me library committee. Also where did you get old library from?
"My name is Kozeki Ui. I'm the head of the Library Committee for the Trinity General School."
と申します = is polite way for introduction
古 = old (im not playing BA)

JP: 主に古書館で書籍を管理したり。復元作業をしてます。
O: Usually organizing the books and doing book restoration at the library.
"I usually organize books and perform restorations at the Antiquarian Bookstore."
this one quite better, i agree

Page 6 --
Punctuations. Broken English.

JP: あ、ちなみに先生と付き合って３ヶ月がたちました。
O: Ah! BTW, it has been 3 months since I'm going out with sensei.
"Oh! By the way, it has been 3 months since I started dating Sensei."
same?

JP: 隠せると思ってた私が愚かでした。
O: I was stupid to think that I can hide our relationship.
Never mentioned relationship directly. "I was a fool to think we could have hidden this from everyone."
they mentioned した(past)

JP: 付き合い始めてすぐ学園全域に噂が広まりました。
O: The rumors about use spread at whole school right after we start dating.
Broken English. "The rumor of us dating spread throughout the entire school right away."
agree, should fix mine

JP: 実は最初から先生との関係が上手く行ったわけではないです。
O: Actually, that doesn't mean that having a relationship with sensei will go well at first.
"To be honest, me and Sensei relationship had a rocky start."
errr. N3 bunpou わけではない ??

JP: お互い深く踏み入るのが怖くて躊躇するそういう関係。// そういうある日先生は私の水着姿を見て理性を失いました。
O: We're afraid of this kind of indecisive relationship if go deeper. // Just like that day, sensei saw me in a swimsuit and he lost control.
"We were hesitant, afraid of stepping too deeply into each other. // Until that one day when Sensei saw me in my swimsuit. He completely lost his mind/rationality/sense of reason."
そういう grammar there, i think using "kind of" more fit

JP: 私が止めても無視して先生は容赦なく腰を振り続けました。数分後のヤシの木の下では男女の喘ぎ声だけが響き渡りました。
O: I even tried to stop him, but he ignored it and he keeps swinging my hips harshly. After a few minutes, only our moans under the palm tree can be heard.
"I tried to stop Sensei, but he ignored me completely and kept trusting his hips into me. After a few minutes, all you could hear was the sound of a man and women moaning and grunting under the Palm tree."
no comment for this

Page 7 --
Punctuations. Broken English.

JP: あの事件から先生は私に謝ってくれました。むしろ私は先生のそういう行動が嬉しかったのでちょっときょどってしまいました。
O: Since that incident. sensei has apologized to me. I was happy yo see sensei behave like that, so I got nervous a bit.
"Since that incident, Sensei has apologized to me. I was actually happy about Sensei's actions, so I ended up feeling a bit flustered."
err.. i quite confusing with your tl
むしろ should be female hyougen, そういう行動が should be behave like

i already warning about author hyougen

im not using MTL anyway

Last edited on 25 August 2024, 23:57.

Base +6, hobohobo -30, TrueGold -6, nyuue -17, Orazio -7, testy -8, cosmoex -6, Cadavrus -6, Mandraken -6, Scumbini -30, Andy294855 -15, Psychotic Pastry -6, velocity606 -7, and 1 more...

Dude… I grew up in Japan. Lol

>> Furui = old , syokan = library/ room with book , kosyokan = old library , its seems more library than bookstore
Yes - but you obviously didn't check to see if this has an established translation. This is referred to as the "Antiquarian Bookstore" in the English BA translation.

>>と申します is 丁寧 for introduction , U KNOW BASIC OF SYOUKAI ??
What part of your TL makes this 丁寧? "My name Kozeki Ui"

>>Page 6 でした！ DESITA !! (SHE MENTION RELATIONSHIP)
Please kindly actually point out where in this sentence are there direct reference to 付き合い, 関係, 交際 are? "隠せると思ってた私が愚かでした。"
でした is not a direct reference.

>>全域 ＝ ZENNNNNNN
Yeah? ---entire--- school that means entire. Your point?

Waste of time.

Base +7, flash11 +30, Mandraken +6, Orazio +7, Cadavrus +6, nomx123 +11, Scumbini +48, 雪莉酱 +22, Psychotic Pastry +6

@uploader
it's extremely hard to understand what you're saying because of your English. this is also the case for your gallery itself.

>"lol im done, im just speed TL, i dont care wrong or bad"

first off, if you don't care if it's wrong or bad, maybe don't upload it for public consumption? also, if you don't care if it's wrong or bad, you probably shouldn't also advertise that you're taking people's money through "commision" - you didn't even spell "commission" correctly.
finally, if you're studying the N2, shouldn't you care that the things you're writing are actually correct and accurate?

Base +14, Orazio +7, Cadavrus +6, nomx123 +11, Scumbini +48, Psychotic Pastry +6

本当ですか？
何か日本語が上手ですね
申し訳ありません
でも…ちゃんとに説明してください
Artistanの英語はちょっと間違いますだから

私も英語は母語事がありません

Base +6, Orazio -7, testy -8, cosmoex -6, Cadavrus -6, Mandraken -6, Scumbini -30, Psychotic Pastry -6, LingeringMemories -15, velocity606 -7, Azure_Zakura -6, shinigami-sisho -7

は～い、日本語喋れないバカ発覚！
ああ、そうですよ。本当ですよ。

「何か日本語が上手ですね」何言ってんの？
「Artistanの英語はちょっと間違いますだから」だから…何言ってんの？ 正しい文法は…

えっ、本当ですか？
へぇ、日本語上手いんですか？
申し訳ありません。でも…ちゃんと説明してくれませんか？
Artistanの英語が間違いだらけで意味がよくわかりません。
私は英語ネイティブじゃありません。

Nice try.

Base +7, Orazio +7, Scumbini +48, Psychotic Pastry +6

@Daruna

nevermind, english is hard for me, also TL this with my own language more better because author hyougen not fits into english , its more expression language for this story

i think remove this gallery would be better

i kinda lazy いい語 check, if someone comparing with MTL already
im just doin it quickly, no recheck or something

@Artisan

馬と鹿みたいそう

Base +6, Orazio -7, testy -8, cosmoex -6, Cadavrus -6, Scumbini -30, Psychotic Pastry -6, SoraSC -6, LingeringMemories -15, velocity606 -7, Azure_Zakura -6, G.L. -7, shinigami-sisho -7

Do you mean 馬鹿みたい? You turn the Japanese IME on and type in "baka" hit space a few times and select the right Kanji.

Okay. You know what uploader... I'm done. I'm not really here to piss you off or make fun of you. I simply posted the comment to get this tagged as rough translation.
You can either take it as a feedback to improve your work, both Japanese and English or you can get offended and not do anything.

I took the feedback on my first TL work and used it to improve my work.

Base +7, Orazio +7, GearZeroSky +21, Scumbini +48, 雪莉酱 +22, Psychotic Pastry +6

@Artisan
わかりませんか？
あの漢字！
うま と しか？？？
お前は

*grew up in japan, but cant catch this joke

Base +6, Orazio -7, cosmoex -6, AnonymousStranger13 -6, Scumbini -30, Psychotic Pastry -6, SoraSC -6, LingeringMemories -15, velocity606 -7, Azure_Zakura -6, G.L. -7

On second thought, never mind. I didn't catch the joke because your Japanese doesn't make sense at all.

馬と鹿みたい okay..
そう？okay.. what?

*says he can speak Japanse, but CAN'T

Base +7, Orazio +7, cosmoex +6, Scumbini +48, Psychotic Pastry +6

ああ
まだ勉強中だから
日本語が下手です

なぜ、お前日本語で話されない？

Base +6, cosmoex -6, Scumbini -30, Psychotic Pastry -6, LingeringMemories -15, velocity606 -7, Azure_Zakura -6

Let me fix that for you.

ああ、日本語はまだ勉強中のため上手(Uma)くありません。
でもあなたは何故(Naze)日本語を話さないんですか？

You might wanna recheck your learning material.

Base +7, cosmoex +6, Scumbini +48, Psychotic Pastry +6

@Artisan
ありがとうございます
出来れば、もっと日本語翻訳の事を説明してもいいますか？
discordで相談するか？

私の翻訳はまだ上手くありません.
今年は日本に引っ越します。だから 色々の漫画を翻訳してみます

Base +6, Mandraken -6, Scumbini -30, Psychotic Pastry -6, LingeringMemories -15, velocity606 -7, Azure_Zakura -6

bold move to (try to) call artistan an idiot and then 15 minutes later start begging for him to tutor you on discord

Base +14, Cadavrus +6, cosmoex +6, Xalren525 +6, Mandraken +6, Orazio +7, GearZeroSky +21, TheMateo217 +6, Scumbini +48, Psychotic Pastry +6, SoraSC +6

@Daruna
that how we start a better communication

Base +6, Cadavrus -6, cosmoex -6, Mandraken -6, Scumbini -30, Psychotic Pastry -6, velocity606 -7, Azure_Zakura -6, G.L. -7

そんな時間本当は無いんだけど…
僕をディスコードで見つけたら話すかも…約束はしないけどね。
無視したら本当に悪気ないから。

Base +7, Scumbini +48, Psychotic Pastry +6

I am very sad.

Base +6

This also needs a rough grammar tag, oof this is really poor English.

Base +8, Mandraken +6, cosmoex +6, Psychotic Pastry +6

@Artisan

ありがとうございます、今私はもっと頑張らなきゃ
まあ、この仕事はダメだから
次の仕事が絶対に完璧だ

@all

here is my TL note

https://justpaste.it/1pq81

it seems this work need more improvisation , especially hyougen(expression) part
i dont have quality checker , just solo work because self study

Base +6, Beane -7, cosmoex -6, Psychotic Pastry -6, SoraSC -6, LingeringMemories -15, velocity606 -7, Azure_Zakura -6, G.L. -7, shinigami-sisho -7

nobody held a gun to your head to make you upload your amateur attempt at learning two foreign languages.

Base +6, Psychotic Pastry +6

I'm of the opinion that having a rough tl is better than having no tl at all.

That said, the proper attitude would be "sorry for my poor English", not "blame the author for my poor English, also give me money to learn Japanese".

Good translation requires first and foremost mastery of the target language. It is enough to understand the source language, while the target language needs to be not merely understood, but used well, which is much harder. This is why most translators translate into their native language(s). Not to say that translation into a non-native language can't be done—but if you want to improve your translation skills, you should focus on improving your English rather than just Japanese.

Base +6, Mandraken -6, Psychotic Pastry -6, SoraSC -6, mofupon -6, LeadPencil -6, WhiplashSmile -13, Letto Lettosa -6, FrankieM -3, Kron27 +6, velocity606 -7, Azure_Zakura -6, G.L. -7, and 5 more...