My first full translation ever hope it's good for yall

... are you seriously happy with this? From the mountain of problems, are you happy with how the middle panel of page 16 looks?

I don't see the raw around, but here are some other translations:
Korean: https://e-hentai.org/g/3457089/f7813ae7c0/
Chinese: https://e-hentai.org/g/3435307/fdfc464610/
Text cleaned: https://e-hentai.org/g/3457090/f463077cd0/ (by the same author as this English)

Base +6, RapidBlast +6, greatwave +6, CorpsmanMcLovin +6, bigscuba +8, purplemontart +7, PipedPiper +7, mgran52 +9, Viperius2112 +6, Spooky Ghost Butts +10, meganekov4 +2, puncake300 +6, albertzeb +6, and 12 more...

Raw https://e-hentai.org/g/3456119/468df13c3d/

> hope it's good for yall
No, it sucks. Please never do it again.

Base +38, Skevaste +4, albertzeb +6, Alphasekai +6, Spooky Ghost Butts +10, milkguy288 +7, eddyhyde +11, mali888 +18, Gren92747 +7, daicalun07 +6, manbeerbanana -6, What A Mess -6, 1dio +8, and 3 more...

It's not that bad.

I'd recommend standardizing letter size and black colors, and when you're putting text over image, use outlines.

Also, make sure text is not spilling from bubbles to image.

Base +6, Gren92747 -7, jasperjones -6, daicalun07 -6, wassapmang -6, simplehypocrite -6, Acecobe -7, 7se7en -6, manbeerbanana +6, ignisha +7, Rickypicky +6, TheEpicFailer -11, sungoer -10