You are not really kind with the drawer but you are right when you're saying that he or she must increase his or her skills. However I've already seen plenty of doujinshi where the drawing style is even worse ! So please if you have some real advice for him or her in order to make him or her to improve, so say it now. Personaly, I found the drawing not good but not so bad either, I'm sure that he or she will be able to improve if he or she really wants to make some exercices and to use some "real" techniques. The story is probably not finished and seems to be funny anyway.