I've been meaning to give translation a try for awhile now, if there's anything that needs to be pointed out, please do so.
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Artist's info:
Twitter - https://x.com/kaguyuzu
Pixiv - https://www.pixiv.net/en/users/5287/illustrations
Melonbooks - https://www.melonbooks.co.jp/detail/detail.php?product_id=3432636
Toranoana - https://ec.toranoana.jp/tora_r/ec/item/040031290886/

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Translation info:
Translation Editing: Alexeir
Translation / Typesetting Editing: RCBM
Redrawing Assistance: JJz
Proofreading: Mino

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Japanese raw: https://e-hentai.org/g/3827926/d1cafae87c/

Hi. I have some thoughts.

For your translator and proofreader (hi mino):
- Several lines in the author's foreword are worded unusually in the target language, or are missing a word. e.g. "due to several reasons", "for Sensei I replicated a little bit __ his anime appearance", "I would be happy to appreciate your warm support"
- p.9 panel 1, that's a ごり, not a ごい. Grind, rub.
- p.10 panel 2, bubble 2, そんな簡単に入らないって is not what that means. 入らないって is about ability, potential, possibility; not him pleading with her "not to do it" with an imperative (he does that in the next bubble).
- Something about the way Kikyou's last thought on p.13 is worded doesn't convey the shock and disbelief in her tone in the original in my opinion, but I'm really getting into the weeds here.

For your typesetter and editor(s):
- The redraws of Sensei's sleeve on p.10 and Kikyou's sleeve on p.13 don't look quite right.
- Familiarize yourself with the crossbar I rule. https://blambot.com/pages/comic-book-grammar-tradition , https://balloontales.com/why-the-crossbar-i-rule/ . In many instances it shows up where it really should not, both in lines that start with an uppercase I (I understand why this makes it seem counter-intuitive at first) but also just in the middle of random words.
- The text is not centered in many bubbles, with an upward-bias for no apparent reason. Most of them need to be nudged down. Use guide lines or a script to help you out at first if you can't feel whereabouts the center of bubbles is yet.
- On page 4, hyphen into ellipsis (-...) is kind of a mess. Just pick one of an ellipsis (...) or an em dash (—) for interrupted or hanging lines or thoughts.
- The leading on your main dialogue font is a bit too wide.
- Dialogue and internal thought bubbles should have some visible distinction in font choice - at least use the italic variant of the main dialogue one, if not a different font altogether (p.9, last panel: p.12 last panel)

Still, pretty decent overall. Certainly a better showing than most of the blatant effortless mtl crap this site gets nowadays.

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Remember to select "Translated" under "Gallery Language" when uploading translated galleries. It can also be added with the l:translated tag if you forget.

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