Dude, this would be so much better without dialogue. Especially without lines like "Move on iguana" and "Bring those alpha cocks to Mama." This is the kind of cringe dialogue that porn is infamous for, and that's not a compliment. Nix the dialogue and have them communicated with body language and gestures and this could be a winner.
Base +10, Fenrir-241 -7, XxXBoy -6, bananapie62 +6, PepperoniFloyd +6