I think Ryan has some serious sunburn ever since he got out of the hospital. Seriously stop using so much red for the MC. Also, really you've NEVER had a case where a girl bullies another girl the other girl had enough and punches the bully? Mind you a couple of sentences shouldn't have set her off but the camp doesn't know how long the bullying could have been going on.
On Page 61 the Aut asks "Have you taken your vitamins?", then on page 63 says "They are not vitamins, Ryan." like she is correcting Ryan about calling them vitamins. Page 62 feels weird between 61 and 63. I feel like it's a flashback, but there's no indication. Page 65 shows them outside the car, then Ryan is back in the car again. Page 68 the doctor talks like the narrator...