Forgive me for ignoring the male sex talk...but you can hopefully imagine the jist of it anyway 8)
I tend to love Yuri romance, especially when it is doomed.
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EDIT: OK OK I WILL TRY TO MAKE IT CLOSER TO EXACT TRANSLATION 8) I'll fix it soon...I'm doing a bubble for bubble translation for you guys 8p
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EDIT 2: Here is my best shot...again, it is hard to tell the exact story in a different language, but hopefully this helps some people understand this wonderful doujin...
Machine TL? This seems to be a borderline rewrite.
Edit @aridchimp: Your writing isn't bad (at least I don't think so), but honestly, beyond a few key words here and there, I can now say with confidence that this should not be called a translation. Way too many liberties taken up to page 11 (I've read up to 15 so far) - add that to the context errors that follow, and the monologue diverges vastly from the original.
Edit2: Okay, so attempting to classify this release really, really confuses me. There's this part in the middle that isn't too far off, and it makes the early-middle pages ever so slightly more plausible, but then it goes back to rewriting toward the end. what is this I don't even ¯(ºдಠ)/¯
Translations are preferred. I would suggest checking the Cove of Translators on the forums, you can also ask questions there and get input from more experienced translators.
Edit: Also, I'd suggest you make this gallery private, and/or upload the new one as a new one, rather then update. If for no other reason that the first version ruined this gallery's rating (22 votes for 1 star).
Edit 2: And if you don't care for input and want to be lazy, then I guess you are fine with critism, 1-star rating, and the fact that your own comment is almost downvoted. If you don't care for us... we don't care for you. Sorry if that sounds harsh, but that's the reality here.