Rewrite of This

Instant 5 star for the Charlie Sheen quote that made me lol.

That said, rewrites are still shit, but this shit is actually better than the original. And some of the lines made me lol. Kudos to you.

Base +8, CxHxA +7, SpacePegasus +4, Ghostface211 +9, Toot Oriole +7, SaittaMicus +16, Dark Dragen +1, Almostbad +7, Varron +8, da_mutz2000 -6, codywelch +8, xomstor +10, Spring Heeled +8, and 21 more...

best motherfucking rewrite of the century. bravo scorpianpp, bravo.

Base +5, SpacePegasus +4, Toot Oriole +7, SaittaMicus +16, ChipsHandon13 +2, da_mutz2000 -6, xomstor +10, Zorgtheshy +8, mojomunkeez +15, schlachtoros +6, Bane13 -30, somercet -5, x34 +6, and 1 more...

Unfortunately that turd of original story got stuck as last entry when the site exploded so it got like a million views. This is much better.

Base +7, CxHxA +7, SpacePegasus +4, Toot Oriole +7, SaittaMicus +16, Dark Dragen +1, da_mutz2000 -6, kikimaru024 +11, xomstor +10, Zorgtheshy +8, mojomunkeez +15, tracingthelines +9, Bane13 -30, and 5 more...

I give this a 3/10. If this is a rewrite then its total garbadge on both accounts,the jokes were funny but everything else was shit,abd why is a horse fucking a girl?

Base +8, rms141 -10, CxHxA -7, SpacePegasus -4, SaittaMicus -16, Toot Oriole -7, Fmlun -6, xomstor -10, Seiphied -9, hentailoverguy +14, LaynaTiger -10, Evulchibi -8, agezez -1, and 3 more...

I thought this rewrite is more genius than the original. Hahaha.

Also, Twilight sucks.

Base +9, Toot Oriole +7, SaittaMicus +16, pollaco +9, da_mutz2000 -6, codywelch +8, xomstor -10, Zorgtheshy +8, mojomunkeez +15, Bane13 -30, somercet -5, GarethMars +6

Okay seriously that was well done, very entertaining and I'd argue more so than the original!

Base +11, SaittaMicus +16, Toot Oriole +7, pollaco +9, da_mutz2000 -6, xomstor +10, Zorgtheshy +8, mojomunkeez +15, disguised_monkey +9, Bane13 -30, lightningchaser +1, somercet -5, x34 +6, and 2 more...

OMG thank you! You made this comic actually bearable THANKS!!!! Naylor can draw bud his writing is like an emo 14 year old lol

Base +6, Toot Oriole +7, SaittaMicus +16, da_mutz2000 -6, xomstor +10, edlolington +6, Zorgtheshy +8, mojomunkeez +15, Bane13 -30, somercet -5, LeafyIsNotHere +5

lmfao WOW so much more enjoyable than the original props to the author

Base +9, SaittaMicus +16, da_mutz2000 -6, xomstor +10, Zorgtheshy +8, mojomunkeez +15, LeifGram +7, Bane13 -30, somercet -5

that was funny, couldnt fap cause i was giggling to much.

Base +7, SaittaMicus +16, xomstor +10, Zorgtheshy +8, mojomunkeez +15, Bane13 -30, lightningchaser +1, bane52 +3, BlueRoses23 +6

Dear god. I think this is the best rewrite ever written, and the best one that will EVER be written.

Base +10, SaittaMicus +16, da_mutz2000 -6, xomstor +10, Zorgtheshy +8, mojomunkeez +15, Bane13 -30, somercet -5, BlueRoses23 +5

This is how it should have been. More of a joke. It's pron I don't want to hear preaching from the original version.

Base +8, da_mutz2000 -6, xomstor +10, Troopman +7, SaittaMicus +18, LeifGram +7, Bane13 +30, unnoticed demon +8, somercet -5, x34 +6, dragon574423 +6, GarethMars +6, LeafyIsNotHere +5

One of the few rewrites I have actually gone through until the end and actually enjoyed.

The text may not make it more arousing than the original, but this is some fucking great comedy right there.

Base +7, xomstor +10, mojomunkeez +15, Bane13 -30, somercet -5, Dos-Tree +6, Zoinks +6

Hmm, i like the orignial text more, besides the dirty talk of her. Thats here much hotter.

Base +7, xomstor +10, tracingthelines -9, Troopman -7, lostlogos +7, Bane13 -30, somercet +5, Dos-Tree -6

Way better than Naylor himself, you deserved an award.

Base +11, xomstor +10, mojomunkeez +15, SaittaMicus +18, Bane13 +30, lightningchaser +1, somercet -5, SatalinLoveJr -6, x34 +6, BlueRoses23 +6

I kinda miss newdog15, his stuff was awesome.

That said, this is pretty damn good, too. Started off funny, and got into some interesting territory as it went on. In my opinions, rewrites aren't bad. It's poorly written rewrites that are bad (which, granted, seems to be most of them). I've read some rewrites, however, that manage to take a comic with a formulaic plot, and just by changing the dialogue (like here), take it in a completely different and interesting direction.

I wish more gifted writers would try this. I might try my hand at it myself.

Base +8, SaittaMicus +18, Bane13 -30, lightningchaser -1, Seiphied -6, SatalinLoveJr -6, GarethMars +6, Liberty Prime +6, LeafyIsNotHere +6

I still feel like this is a story that can't really be improved. And in some ways, this version is worse: he's with the girl, but willingly sends her to the horse guy, AND goes to see Twilight in the end? Just makes him an even bigger glutton for punishment in my eyes.

Base +27, lostlogos +7, Bane13 +30, SatalinLoveJr +6, x34 +6, GarethMars -6

"and her clothes... they like to teleport" and shit

Base +1, Bane13 +30, somercet +5, SatalinLoveJr +6, x34 +6, BlueRoses23 +6, jadw +6

"Also, her clothes... They like to teleport."
Made me laugh my ass off ! XD

Base +10, Bane13 +30, lightningchaser +1, somercet +5, SatalinLoveJr -6, x34 +6, GarethMars +6, Luckyvuddy000 +7, Drode +9

Better than the original, A++

Base +7, Bane13 +30, somercet -5, BlueRoses23 +6

I declare this rewrite better than the original.Hot and funny at the same time make for an excellent read.

Base +8, Bane13 -30, somercet -5, Dos-Tree +6, BlueRoses23 +6

Still a better love story than twilight.

Base +2, somercet +5, Zoinks +6

How could he, how dare he... say yes to Twilight!!! uugghh...

Base +5, Teddybot +4, somercet +5, BlueRoses23 +4

Fucking a 10/10!

Base +2

Well, the term "rewrite" didn't do the = REWRITE = justice.
If not for reading the other comments I might've skipped reading this one (too) altogether.
thanks for the 'What's Up, Tiger Lily?' treatment. Did indeed LOL at a few.
( Wing Fool, you Fat! )

Last edited on 29 June 2017, 10:00.

Base +5

Well its not a crime if i laugh right?

Base +6

EPIC REWRITE

Base +13