Many thanks to:
http://thetsuuyaku.blogspot.com/

I've gotten used to sayman's nonsensical stuff, but this one takes the cake... Is there even anything to interpret in this?

Base +15, demeaener5 +11, Ahsab +12, ClariNerd +14, Mr. Forgetful +4, 151132 +8, Gentleman Chimera +3, Eyriol +7

@Eiri Rock Hard is my only interpretation.

Base +9, aiwotorimodose +25, psaid2131 +17, gestern +15, mumei-chan +8, Pandion +6, ClariNerd +14, Shadowloli +7, 151132 +8, JoboKin +8, Elemhunter +9, Gentleman Chimera +3, fiestyferret +2, and 1 more...

I'm confident that this is stranger than Peter Griffin's version. Slightly.

Base +9, Pandion -6, Ahsab -12, Shadowloli -7, tomoki18 +3, Poinf -8

At first I was like, yay new Dowman Sayman.
And then I got confused for the nth time.

Base +6, hwilliams +9, 151132 +8, wertweet +10, Eyriol +7

He's secretly testing the market for a gameboard made by him.
I bet it will sell lots.

Base +12, psaid2131 +17, Pandion +6, Ahsab +12, 151132 +8, tomoki18 +3, Angel Xtreme +10, JoboKin +8, OTAKU_UNLMTD +3, Lotrei +4, fiestyferret +2

wakarimasen lol °_o

Base +2

I like how on the board game if you go foward 5 spaces for guessing the Wolflord is in DQ7, you land on a space that pushes you back 5 spaces. YOU GUESSED WRONG MUTHAFUCKA.

Base +5, psaid2131 +17, 151132 +8, Gentleman Chimera +3, Eyriol +7

Dafuq? ... ... Oh Geez, I forgot it's Dowman Sayman...

Base +6, Pandion -6, wertweet +10

Wow! You can play a game of spot the film references with Dowman Sayman.

Base +31, Pandion +6, Ahsab +12, 151132 +8, Gentleman Chimera +3

@smartz118
But thou must?

Base +11

My god it suddenly hit me that I understand what this is about.

The king has erectile dysfunction and the fact makes him despair. He's past the prime of his life, that's why he said he has no no other hair growing, and with lack of any other use for a member that doesn't work, he decides to get it styled as something ornamental so he can tell himself that it has at least some superficial purpose.
Even the style he chose is labelled with 'false happiness'.

That's why in his fantasy, he trails off with 'I do want to put it in very much [, but]' 'my cock is already...'
Also notably he says he wants to see her vagina, but he doesn't say at first he wants to have sex with her, because he knows it's impossible.
That's why he was so happy when his dream world told him his dick was rock hard.
The doctor's work was done because he didn't need to style the king's hair, not because he was dead, but because he had already achieved a much greater false happiness than a haircut could give him.

Oh god, it all makes sense.

Except the board game. On that, I have no clue.

Base +17, fujifruit +6, drilldrill +9, podo0201 +8, adarcronos +11, JoboKin +8, roflolmaomg +9, QandD +24, 2e1e3 +4, XCN +8, lanst357 +8, stickky one +10, jacksonville +27, and 33 more...