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(COMITIA108) [Milmake Orange (Mizu Asato)] ●REC [English] {Dragoonlord} [Sample]

(コミティア108) [ミルメークオレンジ (水あさと)] ●REC [英訳] [見本]

Non-H
Posted:2014-05-16 03:44
Parent:701312
Visible:Yes
Language:English  TR
File Size:2.58 MiB
Length:10 pages
Favorited:146 times
Rating:
171
Average: 4.83

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Posted on 16 May 2014, 03:44 by:   Dragoonlord    PM
Uploader Comment
I believe it's just a sample but I really like it so I translate it with some help from Luster. I can't find the full one yet.

This is my fourth English translation. Hope that my English is improving... Feel free to comment about my translation.

Edit1: Thanks for the edition from Second Dus and Bloody Rain. I correct them already.
Posted on 16 May 2014, 09:14 by:   DiaryDoll    PM
Score -100
NON-H ?

Rating: 0.5 xD
Posted on 15 May 2014, 18:50 by:   monkeyneth    PM
Score +34
Closest this comes to Hentai is the front page.
Posted on 15 May 2014, 19:38 by:   Somebro    PM
Score +293
Nice subversion of this formula H setup. Unexpectedly heart warming at the end, good for them.
Posted on 15 May 2014, 20:20 by:   somuchprn    PM
Score +2
DairyDoll, you're kind of a douche. It is exactly what is advertised. On another note, the translation made me laugh a bit, but overall it had feels. 4/5.

I noticed you said you personally translated. You did not ruin my mood, I just found it humorous when I was imagining the characters reading it. Regardless of how your English is at the moment, you probably know at least two more languages, one being native at least. That is more than me, as I only speak English.
Posted on 19 May 2014, 15:02 by:   Dragoonlord    PM
Score +7
@somuchprn: I'm sorry that I ruin your mood. TTwTT

but do you have any suggestion for me?

Edit@ Elemhunter: I know where to purchase it but I can't find the scan version of this one.
Posted on 15 May 2014, 19:58 by:   KpapQ    PM
Score +35
I really think this is completed already. Its cover is just a joke while the true story is moving indeed.
Posted on 15 May 2014, 20:26 by:   Second Dus    PM
Score +94
Not a native english speaker, but I will comment anyway.
"what should I speak" -> "what should I say"
"can't I speak" doesn't make sense, I think what you wanted to write was "can I not speak?", which sounds weird IMO, but as I said I'm not a native english speaker, so I don't really know.
"can't we record it?" -> "can we not record it?", same as the previous one
"you're such a greed girl" -> "you're such a greedy girl"
"Let's hope that it'll be success" -> "Let's hope it'll be a success" I'm not sure if you can leave that "that" there, though, of if you should use "it's" instead of "it'll be"
And not related to the translation, the text shouldn't touch the edges of the bubbles.

I love Mizu Asato's works, so thanks for the translation.

@Bloody_Rain
Thanks for clarifying.
Posted on 15 May 2014, 20:19 by:   Bloody_Rain    PM
Score +13
Some of the lines I couldn't comment on without access to the original raw, but a few stick out as obvious fixes:

Pg. 2: "What should I speak?" -> "What should I say?"
Pg. 4: "I...It's very embarrassed" -> "I...It's very embarrassing."
Pg. 8: "You're such a greed girl." -> "You're such a greedy girl."

EDIT:
@Second Dus: "Let's hope it'll be a success" or "Let's hope that it'll be a success" are both proper.
Posted on 15 May 2014, 20:22 by:   lan313    PM
Score +203
Man. I came here for loli and got feels instead.
Definitely not as advertised, but enjoyable nonetheless.
Thanks for translating ;_;
Posted on 15 May 2014, 20:23 by:   aisukage    PM
Score +154
That was FUCKING TERRIBLE! 5/5!
It made me feel things...
Posted on 15 May 2014, 21:11 by:   Bulopu    PM
Score +101
Why I thought about such things in my head about this dad who wants to record his little daughter who will die tomorrow?
ExH, you corrupt me!!!
Posted on 15 May 2014, 22:09 by:   IssacClarke    PM
Score +97
What am I supposed to do with this guilty erection? Tell me.
Posted on 15 May 2014, 22:19 by:   moshee    PM
Score +5
I was going to buy and translate this. Planned to place my order along with the other stuff I need to get which are coming out this month (Denki-gai, etc.). I hope it's still in stock by then.
Posted on 15 May 2014, 23:27 by:   thesmall    PM
Score +6
your english was good enough to make me feel the ''feel'' :'(
Posted on 16 May 2014, 00:21 by:   Xavier Blitz    PM
Score +23
OH GOD THE FUCKING FEELS
MY HEART CAN'T ENDURE THIS
Posted on 16 May 2014, 00:31 by:   Thud    PM
Score +5
What a tweest!
Posted on 16 May 2014, 03:16 by:   Hakrei    PM
Score +22
That misleading cover, and that ending...
Borderline of either happiness or bittersweet
The feels...
Great upload, hopefully there is more to this and this is just a sample...
Posted on 16 May 2014, 05:30 by:   enternity123    PM
Score +22
Why can't i hold all these feels ?
Posted on 16 May 2014, 06:48 by:   nabusco    PM
Score +30
"So about the surgery"

Ok who is cutting onions i beg you to stop; _;
Posted on 16 May 2014, 07:01 by:   horsedie    PM
Score +31
wut? I took off my pants and you gave me this;_;??(put on pants
Posted on 16 May 2014, 08:58 by:   Exsteverbur    PM
Score +62
EMOTIONS CRUMBLING
Posted on 16 May 2014, 11:04 by:   dexipher02    PM
Score +16
best way to stop some1 from fapping, replace expected H scene with Feel Scene
Posted on 16 May 2014, 12:02 by:   MSimm1    PM
Score +31
http://www.doujinshi.org/book/700637/

http://www.pixiv.net/member_illust.php?mode=medium&illust_id=43245388
Posted on 16 May 2014, 15:22 by:   YuJay    PM
Score +5
I think this is brilliant.
It looks and feels like to going towards incest, then takes a U-Turn to like a last words/scene video before surgery.
So I was like Ha... then Awww :(
Posted on 16 May 2014, 22:56 by:   MonMon19    PM
Score +22
It's actually much more painful if you're reading it for the second time...
suddenly you start noticing stuff:

-the father wanting to see his elementary school daughter in middle school uniform
-dat hug before the last page

now excuse me as I contemplate my existence in a cold shower.
Posted on 17 May 2014, 01:51 by:   fakkiubichi    PM
Score +39
Thanks a lot for sharing that manga! I sent it to my friends!
I'll give some English corrections, as well as some thoughts on the translations if you don't mind. I found this manga very heartwarming so while I hope that I won't be too harsh, I'd like others to have a clean and accurate translation. I'll be nit-picky so do feel free to ignore some of my overly critical remarks.

Page 2
- "Ar" should be "er" or simply "um". (on other pages, too)
- "言わなきゃダメ?" should have been "Do I really have to say it?" (and the answer "Yes"), not "Can I not speak?". This is important since the girl not being allowed to speak wouldn't make sense.

Page 4
- She says "sheesh", not "uh".
- "Why you say something like that?" should be "Why do you say something like that?" or better yet "How could you say that?"
- "Do you know how much does that video camera cost me?" should be "Do you know how much that video camera cost me?". Also, the first bubble should say something like "You promised!" or "That's not what we agreed on!"
- "remain" would sound better if you used "stay", and "won't it?" would sound better if you used "right?".

Page 5
- "Why I have to wear this middle school uniform" should be "Why do I have to wear this middle school uniform?".
- "just" would be more accurate if you used "still".
- "For Rico, I've spent all of the money" sounds awkward. It would sound more natural with something like "I spent all of our money for your sake."
- "Then, how can we survive tomorrow?" would be more accurate and would sound more natural if you used "How are we going to get by after this..."

Page 6
- "Let it be. Things in tomorrow don't matter to me anymore" should be something along the lines of (translation-wise and English-wise) "Well, anyway..." "It's not like the future matters to me anymore."
- Rather than "Fine. It can't be helped", she says "Fine. If I'm still able to, that is." This is important, since this is the reason for the father's next line on the next page.

Page 7
- "I have to tell you first" should be, as per what the girl says previously, "Oh, that's right, I should have said so first..."
- After "You have to tell, OK?" (which would sound better if you replaced "tell" with "tell me"), the dad says "We can stop midway if you're in pain."
- She doesn't say "um" but "all right/OK"
- A much more accurate translation for the dad's last line would be "You are not forced to do this if you're really scared."

Page 8
- The Japanese doesn't say "these days" but "up until today", so the bubble should be something like "Because Dad has been working very hard for me."

Thanks again, and I hope I am not being too critical!
Posted on 17 May 2014, 03:09 by:   3DM    PM
Score +30
I came here to fap, not to feel... oh fuck it, I'll fap anyway.

I... I can't do it...
Posted on 17 May 2014, 06:54 by:   Nigata    PM
Score +16
Talk about making one feel like a scumbag.
It's raining tears.
Posted on 18 May 2014, 12:06 by:   PedroBear28    PM
Score +34
I came here to fap, not to cry.
Posted on 19 May 2014, 12:01 by:   Elemhunter    PM
Score +18
You can buy it here:

http://shop.melonbooks.co.jp/shop/detail/212001072683
http://www.toranoana.jp/mailorder/cot/pagekit/0000/00/05/000000058647/index.html

Those links were posted on his Twitter and Pixiv, dig a little deeper next time.

If no one else goes for it, I can buy and scan it. No promises, though, and it might be a month or so.
Posted on 19 January 2015, 15:23 by:   maverih345456    PM
Score +2
I think its possible that the child in this manga has cancer we will never know if the operation is a success or not.
Posted on 22 July 2019, 00:16 by:   goddamnthisshit    PM
Score +5
The only reason I'm not crying is because I'm too busy laughing at the curveball this hit me with. I think this broke my brain.

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