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(COMIC1☆15) [Enokiya (eno)] BLEND (Kantai Collection -KanColle-) [English] [Revised]

(COMIC1☆15) [榎屋 (eno)] BLEND (艦隊これくしょん -艦これ-) [英訳]

Doujinshi
Posted:2019-05-04 15:33
Parent:1408472
Visible:Yes
Language:English  TR
File Size:137.7 MiB
Length:27 pages
Favorited:1781 times
Rating:
461
Average: 4.47

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Posted on 04 May 2019, 15:33 by:   ike714    PM
Uploader Comment
Museum > Hotel
Updated version with various improvements. Warm thanks to @boom22 for his helpful feedback.
Posted on 03 May 2019, 12:53 by:   Noni    PM
Score +103
Raw: https://e-hentai.org/g/1406719/d039a0f706/

"The way you feel right now is magnitudes more embarrassing" - I must admit, there are days that I don't say to that my English-speaking partner in the heat of the moment... Anyway, nice upload, with good x-ray. So I'm happy.
Posted on 03 May 2019, 13:11 by:   Sylph_Doll    PM
Score -42
useless botes
Posted on 03 May 2019, 13:37 by:   nabusco    PM
Score +35
Capital sbips are my demise
Posted on 03 May 2019, 15:02 by:   bigscuba    PM
Score +8
I absolutely love Eno's art style
Posted on 03 May 2019, 15:09 by:   boom22    PM
Score +290
A quick translation is always welcome, but it would've been much better if you get yourself some proper proofreading first, cause this reads like a machine translation overall. Heck, you can even jump on any /h/ thread and you'd find some willing anon or two to do you the trick.

I'll be pointing out some sentences that you could improve:

[Page 5]

the "dangerous" line should be saying that it's his fault (that they're slutty/needy)
the line about him being full of semen should specify that he builds up so much semen everyday

[Page 6]
"waving around these lewd tits" should be rephrased to "tempting me with those lewd tits"
the line about him holding back could be phrased better, maybe "You don't have to wait wait until night, you know?"
yamato's two lines are supposed to be one connected sentence with a "but" in the middle, and the second line says that he always teases her, not that she's in a rush

[Page 7]
"... pushes everything but lewd acts from my mind" --> "...makes me can't think of anything but lewd things"

[Page 8]

the line about her pussy aching should also mention that it's very wet in some way
"having" -> "hogging"

[Page 12]
"...looks like my pussy wasn't what you wanted" -->Uhh...This is not even close compared to the raw.

[Page 16]
"....please hold on with just this" --> something along the lines of "make do" might work better

[Page 16]
"......still hasn't shrunk away" --> sounds really awkward. translating it plainly to "still so hard" is enough.

[Page 17]
"The way you feel right now is magnitudes more embarrassing" ---> you did this on purpose?

[Page 20]
"but you're both not going to let me rest, are you" --> "But you girls won't let me rest just yet, huh?"

[Page 25]

"thank you" should actually say "afterword"
psychoframe bit -> "I feel like the Psycho-Frame is going to take my soul away."{some kind of gundam thing}
"two books" should also mention (illustrations/manga) afterwards
the "sabbatical bit" is more like "take a break and go train like they do in manga"

Those are just some of the obvious ones. I would strongly suggest you find a proper proofreader in case you're not aware whether you've made an error in your translation or whether you've formulated your sentence properly.
And in case you're looking for just the right word for sentences like that "magnitude" one, thesaurus is your friend!
Posted on 04 May 2019, 01:29 by:   spicaworks    PM
Score +16
i was getting excited seeing this one got translated so fast
but as pointed above, this needs more work
Posted on 04 May 2019, 01:53 by:   Number1TioFan    PM
Score +4
Dammit...
I got hyped seeing this translated.
Hard to go wrong with a sexy Yamato and Iowa!
Alas, the grammer needs some improving.
Kills the boner...
Thanks anyways!
Posted on 04 May 2019, 06:06 by:   z3ta331    PM
Score +23
Eno is a blessing to us all
Posted on 04 May 2019, 12:26 by:   chunghwa    PM
Score +64
Had a word with the guys doing this. A fixed version is coming soon.

And they're going to take QC/proofreading more seriously for their next TL work too.
Posted on 04 May 2019, 19:59 by:   remembereverything    PM
Score +9
Looking better, but isn't the line at the end of page 12 still wrong? I'm sure the update will be appreciated, though, it's definitely an improvement.
Posted on 05 May 2019, 04:43 by:   Rod_Perv    PM
Score +41
TFW you "knock down" two battleships, pride of their respective Navies. #FeelsGoodMan
Posted on 05 May 2019, 13:42 by:   Boshi    PM
Score +6
When did they add Scathach to KanColle?
Posted on 05 May 2019, 15:05 by:   ike714    PM
Score +7
@Boshi August 8th 2013
Posted on 11 May 2019, 01:36 by:   HeavyHam    PM
Score +1
Underrated artist imo
Posted on 27 September 2020, 08:56 by:   Agoraphobia    PM
Score +35

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