Original RAW:https://e-hentai.org/g/2238767/06beadedc3/

It's my first time translating, and I'm still learning Japanese.
If I've mistranslated, do let me know so I can improve.

p.1: wionder > wonder
p.3: shoud > should
p.3: adpter > adapter
p.3: its > it's
p.5: wierd > weird
p.5: sensetivity > sensitivity
p.7: resisit > resist
p.7: ticklicng > tickling
p.8: moment's > moments
Also you've missed periods on page 8 at the end of the first and second sentence
p.11: wont > won't
p.11: isnt > isn't
p.13: repetatedly > repeatedly
p.13: its > it's
p.16: its > it's
p.16: loose > lose

not too bad overall for your first translation, just a bunch of niggly spelling/punctuation mistakes
the english is a bit rough at parts, and the type-setting is a bit rough too, but that's only par for the course on your first translation
here's some guides you can check out to help you improve

editing guides:

General: https://quicksandscans.wordpress.com/resources/
Typesetting: https://web.archive.org/web/20190406011154/https://fallensyndicate.wordpress.com/typesetting-tutorial/
Redrawing: https://web.archive.org/web/20150421210157/http://www.redhawkscans.com/showthread.php?7057-Rain-s-Redraw-Tutorials
Basic cleaning: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PANrCwHy630

good luck man, hope you stick with it and continue to improve

Base +10, nikgtasa +11, lucentwish549 +6, luoyufenfang +1, Glovelove. +19, 可爱的小蕾 +4, tsuza +8

Last edited on 27 June 2022, 13:47.

Base +42, sunshineandlolipops +24

other:rough grammar LOL

Base +6, turbinesigma +6, Roxolan -6