Hello!
So, a while ago was posted a gallery that gathered some criticism (nothing new). To keep things short, I proposed to redo the gallery and, the editor kindly accepted and even shared the script, so here we are. I won't lie, I was going to release a project for myself, so I rushed this one a bit and did not review each dialogue from the raw. But it should, I hope, be far more pleasant to read.

This is kind of my "second project", so I still consider myself inexperienced and, even if I did not fully translate this manga, I've done a bit of editing. So, by all mean, I encourage you to give me some constructive feedback. I'll update the gallery if needed.

Thanks to baha815.

Original ENG version: https://e-hentai.org/g/2500805/ca1a9c9f81/
Raw: https://e-hentai.org/s/b9881e342b/1652844-22
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@Ancient-Alien Thank you so much man, I love you. Believe it or not, I lost almost an entire day looking for fonts on this one. On my first project I used wildword, but I thought it was too thin, I wanted something easier on the eye and, even with fonts cheat sheet, it's difficult to picture the font in an actual bubble for a novice like me... For the floating text, I just gave up. As I said, I didn't want to lose too much time on this. I still need practice on typesetting in general...

As you asked here is some constructive criticism for you:

1. don't let ! and ? stand in a line for themselve. It doesn't look good.

2. Anime Ace may be a popular font for typesetting but despite not being the prettiest it also has the design flaw of expanding horizontaly while bubbles normally tend to expand verticaly. CCVictorySpeech, CCYadaYada, Wild Words, or Wurmics Bravo are better choices.

3. The font for floating text is not a great choice in my opinion. It would have been better to use a standard comicfont or simply set your standard dialog font to italic.

That are the things I noticed while skimming through the gallery. But still a good job for a beginner and I've seen worse from people asking for money.

Edit:
Quote: I lost almost an entire day looking for fonts on this one

Yeah, I remember this problem. I solved it with writing down a list with fonts for different uses, like standard text, bold text, narration, moans, etc. until I had the names of my go to fonts burned into my brain.
And also try to match the style of your chosen font with the original japanese text. So no CCZoinks / Yikes when the original is the jap. eqivalent of Times New Roman, to give an extreme example.

And if you haven't already you should pay https://quicksandscans.wordpress.com/resources/ a visit.

Last edited on 28 March 2023, 17:54.

Base +20, Vodsky +6, 58569 +6

for someone starting oiit on translating raws to english. this very good start. and can't wait to see more from you. rememeber trail and error is the greatest teacher of all.

Base +6, Vodsky +6, baha815 +11