I'm still working on this, but great first upload + made account today + have Patreon and Paypal on credit page.
Edit: You also have downloaded the wrong resolution (1280 x 1866 vs 2400 x 3499 original)

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Viper and Rupee refer to the commander as honey and sweetie in English. Not darling and oni-chan

@areyama
It is the translator's fault. There's a reason I said they call him that in English and not something else, because I was referring to the English localization. If they're gonna translate it they should use terms the game itself uses.

Last edited on 18 August 2023, 03:39.

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patreon entirely in spanish, hmmmmm

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I'm going to write this down in Spanish to get my points across more easily to you:

Carnal, la traducción no está mal en si, el contexto se entiende sin mucho problema, pero la semántica y la estructura de las oraciones deja muuucho que desear. Es bastante obvio que estás (o están) traduciendo del Japonés al Español y luego al Inglés porque hay muchas partes donde se nota. Ejemplo:

- La última conversación en la página 32: "...the overtime" no suena bien. Habría quedado mejor (y simplificado) más o menos así: "Then, on his next day off, darling will also be... ...working overtime" por ejemplo. Hay varias maneras de escribir la oración.
- Página 7: "I think that could be more exited~" si corregimos la semántica cambiando el verbo a "exciting" se arregla la oración pero, contextualmente, quedaría mejor si el personaje dijera: "Doesn't that sound more exciting?"
- Pagína 27: "Catch it all in your vagina" se oye culero en Inglés. "Take it all in your vagina" se escucha mejor y cambiaría "vagina" por "pussy" o "cunt" o algun otro sinónimo pero tendría que ser constante este en todo el escrito.

Hay bastantes ejemplos así por todo el manga, unos mejores y peores que otros, y tampoco ayuda el que pareciera que varias personas trabajaron en diferentes secciones y las juntaron al final.
El tipo de fuente está bien, el tamaño del texto en las burbujas de diálogo es apropiado y en general se ve que la edición se hizo con cuidado y eso lo tengo resaltar. Fuera de ello, la traducción necesita mucho más trabajo. Les falta un corrector de pruebas o "proofreader" que revise la traducción antes de que decian publicar algo. Y siendo completamente sincero, esperar que alguien les haga donaciones por un trabajo algo mediocre es un poco pretencioso, sobre todo sienodo este su (o tu) primer trabajo compartido por aquí.
Hay potencial y se ven las ganas de trabajar pero no estaría mal primero pulir más ese Inglés antes de querer hacer traducciones.

Last edited on 17 August 2023, 06:13.

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Other Language or Version
Japanese
Korean
Korean translated by Team Edge
English You are here!
Spanish

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@MARTIANxMADNESS : Yeah, sadly even in the raw, they refer to him as darling and onii-chan. Looks like Nodame didn't really play the game enough.

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I think you should put some work into your use of English expressions and natural (as natural as hentai is I guess) language.

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If you haven't ever play the game in japanese dub, Viper and Rupee refer to the commander as darling and oni-chan, it's not nodame or the translation fault

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@kurehayagami That's what they say in JP. Don't blame the artist for using the correct words, blame the translator for doing it without context.

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i wouldn't use anything said in english as a basis for anything. fraudulent weeb game

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Una recomendación, querido mío. No traduzcas traducciones. Ahora esto probablemente se quede en el Limbo eterno sin que nadie lo tome porque viniste y la cagaste.

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Sigh... and I was really hoping that this work wouldn't get hit by shitty translation. But then again, it's NIKKE doujin, I shouldn't have expected much considering how most of the people who play this game are like.

@Leksa: I honestly don't see any problem in keeping them as they are, even without context. Those are correct if you use the Japanese dub (and/or sub), and when I ran it through a friend of mine who plays the game using Japanese dub, he didn't even notice it at first. But then again, I guess it boils down to the usual liberal vs literal style in the end...

Last edited on 17 August 2023, 18:01.

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@Leksa : That's why I said Nodame (The Artist) didn't play the game, cuz if they played the game, they would know that Viper and Rupee uses their in-character petnames.

This is like an artist making an FGO doujin about Mashu, but instead of calling Guda 'Senpai', they used "Onii-chan" or "Darling" instead. Yeah, would kinda bit grating, right?

Don't blame the artist for using the correct words? Dude, they're not even using the "correct words"

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@kurehayagami Just take the L for not knowing what the hell you're talking about. Here's the JP wiki entries for Viper and Rupee for the JP version of the game:

https://wiki3.jp/nikke/page/1889#content_header_main_content_h2_11
https://wiki3.jp/nikke/page/210#content_header_main_content_h2_11

In which you can find the quotes:
指揮官のお兄ちゃん…！
ダーリンはお酒好き～？

The artist, in case you hadn't noticed, is Japanese. They're playing the JP version of the game. And in the JP version, the nicknames are "Onii-chan" and "Darling."

Now, whether you should keep the JP version or switch to the English version when translating is a totally different discussion I'm not going to weigh in on. But saying that the original artist didn't know what they were talking about is just plain wrong.

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@Nomake Wan : I stand corrected, I for real don't know what I'm thinking about last night while typing them comment, and somehow really forget their in-game voice lines.

Might be due to the fact it's been long while since I last used any of them. But yeah, Onii-chan and Darling it is.

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@kurehayagami
Edit: I typed a whole short essay trying to explain why you were off base, but it seems like you got it while I was typing.

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@kurehayagami
·-·--··-·····---··-··---·--·
They do refer to him as darling and onii Chan in game lol. XRupee says onii Chan in her burst, and viper says darling in story.

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