I started this yesterday but procrastination got the better of me.
Also, I edited quite a few boxes, resized them to fit the text better.

the bigger boxes may not be a word to word translation, it can be because it sounded bad or just because I don't know how to translate.
pls no bully but do point out mistakes because it might be filled with them.

RAW: https://e-hentai.org/g/1440388/47510eb717/
Pt 1: https://e-hentai.org/g/1355600/2aedd7537d/
Pt 1 RAW: https://e-hentai.org/g/1355451/b37d63125f/

>"Also, I edited quite a few boxes, resized them to fit the text better."

My dude, what? You're doing it backwards.
Like seriously, why do so many beginners seem to believe that sticking to one font size is the way to go? Just who started this myth?
Not to mention the royal fuckload of untranslated moans. And the centering also needs some work.

May I suggest you check out some guides on typesetting?

Edit:
A guide? Well, Red Hawk's typesetting guide would be one example. Otherwise, google and youtube would be a good start.

And how exactly did you get form "changing the font size" to "stretching the text"?
Like, what? That's genuinely beyond me.

Last edited on 05 July 2019, 21:32.

Base +19, pulsar577 -9, Bukowski -6, Hilarity +6, qwertyboy20 -6, Hunter Nightblood -8, Code Night +4, Byakuya Kuchiki +6

Do you have a recommended guide?
I do change the font size, it's just that stretching the text looks a bit wonky.
And ok, I'll try to translate all the sfx and update it.

Edit:
Added the translated moans
And I meant it like this https://imgur.com/a/0E2dmSN

Last edited on 05 July 2019, 23:32.

Base +7

@Dorseen Everything looks fine to me. Font? If you are not using Times new roman and its size is at readable state, i don't see a problem with it. SFX? Many ppl don't bother with it and it's your choice if you want to leave them out. Centering Again if the text isn't lined to left side, don't see problem with it. Well and editing bubbles to fit text size is bit weird, as SCSS said, dont be afraid to use variations of font sizes. But personally i think you did pretty well and thank you for your effort.

Base +12, errata +7, 01Anon +6

@SCSS (05 July 2019, 20:38):
If you actually looked at the RAW and his edited/typeset version here you realize there's very little change TBH. Some of the boxes were actually shrunk or just reformed to match English horizontal text and we did gain space on a few (though they are minor edits so not that hard to redraw).

Honestly as long as the TL is good then I see no problem, his editing and typesetting is better than some people that have been doing it for years...

Like ElectroYume said, Thanks for your effort and good work.

@SCSS (06 July 2019, 16:39):
I get that you're an editor (AFAIK) so you'd be more acutely aware of and tuned to that quality in his work (and his statement) which is fine, but your critique did come off a little strong (not that that is necessarily bad or anything because good critique can and probably should be so). Also it maybe worth considering that it's just a matter of preference to resize either the text between bubbles or rework the bubbles themselves. Is the text a readable size? Yes. Where's the problem?

I don't see what you're getting at in the example...I mean if I nitpicked, sure there's some lines that could be spaced better but I am hard pressed to fully determine what.

Fair enough, my personal standard is spoken text in and out of bubbles plus SFX in bubbles, the rest is up to TLer or pay extra (pretty much the same I guess). But you complained about lacking moans in your original comment and now you effectively say that what is relevant to the story is good enough. I do get that you probably also mean moans in bubbles should be part of anything but your sentences here are kinda wonky.

You agree about using the worse than argument for this case, but also don't otherwise...ok.

My viewpoint has always been from the aspect of whether someone improves after their starting point. If it remains mediocre or degrades I will not remain passive about their work. But generally pointing someone to helpful resources would be a start. I usually just send people to the Cove of Scanlators board to start.

P.S.- Please do not assume I am fine with an ok or good enough effort because "there is worse out there" either btw. I merely used it as a point of context for comparison in this case like you said as well. I have made it quite clear lately in a couple of galleries recently (e.g. 1 and e.g. 2) that I do not like settling for good enough with regards to a variety of things pertaining to translations and editing.

@SCSS (07 July 2019, 15:15):
Thanks for the responses they helped clarify what I wanted to know. Not going to make another text wall since it's just opinions butting up against each other.

BTW- Apologies to Dorseen for creating this wall of text...

Last edited on 08 July 2019, 21:09.

Base +42, pulsar577 +9, 01Anon +6, GodTierWaifus +6, Alteisen Riese +9

@Megaton @ElectroYume

I wasn't so much complaining as I was simply and completely flabbergasted by what he said. And that's basically where most of my reaction is actually from.

The only reason you'd normally ever redraw text/dialogue bubbles/boxes is, well, to make them bigger, as to either keep the the font size legible or the formating from completely going to shit.
So the thought he might be making them smaller instead never even crossed my mind. And frankly, there is no reason it should either.

And I didn't actually comment on his font choices, just the centering. Which is still an issue, by the way. Random example: https://i.imgur.com/RU4pxZe.png
I know why he made that mistake but that's also one of the things that should actually be covered by Red Hawk's guide.
While I'm on the topic of centering, the formating isn't actually so hot either. But once again, covered by the guide.

On what to actually translate; the rule of thumb is to translate anything in bubbles/boxes and/or is actually relevant to the story. That's it.
Anything beyond that is generally treated as voluntary.

Lastly, while I sadly have to agree in this case, unironically using "there is worse out there" as an argument was never and will never be a valid counter to criticism.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Not really a fan of shitting up this comment section any further but here goes:

@Megaton
"but your critique did come off a little strong"
Alcohol induced filter removal. :V

"Also it maybe worth considering that it's just a matter of preference to resize either the text between bubbles or rework the bubbles themselves. Is the text a readable size? Yes. Where's the problem?"
I didn't point that out as a problem yet, just as something I was completely confused by.
I explained why I was confused by it also.

"I don't see what you're getting at in the example...I mean if I nitpicked, sure there's some lines that could be spaced better but I am hard pressed to fully determine what."
I'm gonna give you one hint: paragraph tool.

"But you complained about lacking moans in your original comment and now you effectively say that what is relevant to the story is good enough. I do get that you probably also mean moans in bubbles should be part of anything but your sentences here are kinda wonky."
I mainly worded it that way to also include the occasional line or two that is actually not included in a bubble as well as other potential exceptions I simply couldn't think of at the moment. But everything that's at least bubbled is generally considered a must.

"You agree about using the worse than argument for this case, but also don't otherwise...ok."
To clarify, I agreed that there is indeed worse out there, not that it's fine to use that fact as an argument.

Last edited on 07 July 2019, 15:15.

Base +19, Bukowski -6, Hilarity +6, qwertyboy20 -6, Code Night +4, Imsolo +6, Alteisen Riese -9